Jimmy: [fires toy gun] You're dead, president Lincoln! You're dead!
Elaine: I wish I was dead.
Jimmy: Can I have your juice?
Elaine: As long as you don't put...
[Jimmy pours the juice in to Elaine's bag]
Elaine: Thanks for the re-fill.

Vivian: Hey, Elaine. How did it go?
Elaine: Oh, he's... He's a joy.
Vivian: Really? Some sitters have told me he's bit of a handful.
Elaine: Oh, a handful of sunshine. I wish I could do this every day.
Vivian: Oh, Elaine, that's so good to hear. I've been having a few health problems lately.
Elaine: It's not serious, is it?
Vivian: Well, it might be. Just in case anything does happen, it's nice to know there's somebody like you around.
Elaine: Oh, yeah. That, uh... That is nice to know. [pours the juice from the bag back into glass.]

Kramer: Look at this, look at the hair on the back of my neck. It's all bramble, see it's like thicket back there. Look, I need somebody to shave it for me, huh?
Jerry: I'm not touching that thing.
Kramer: Well, I have to say I'm very surprised and disappointed, blood brother.
Jerry: Oh, no...
Kramer: What? Jerry, I gave you my blood. Listen to your pulse. [takes Jerry hand] Hey, buddy. Hey, buddy. Hey, buddy.
Jerry: Kramer, I'm not shaving your neck.
Kramer: Oh, so my blood is not enough? Would you like a kidney too, because I'll give it to you? I'll rip it out right here and smack it on the table!
Jerry: All right. All right. I'll do it. Sit down.
Kramer: No, no, no. I don't have time right now. I'll catch you tonight. We'll do sort of an all over kind of thing, all right?

Jerry: [answers phone] Hello?
Helen Seinfeld: Kramer called. He told us you were in a hospital.
Jerry: Kramer called you?
Helen Seinfeld: He calls every week. Are you all right?
Jerry: Yes, I'm fine.
Helen Seinfeld: He says he's fine.
Morty Seinfeld: Tell him to eat a plum.
Helen Seinfeld: Jerry, you really have to take better care of yourself. We bought you some sessions with a personal trainer.
Jerry: I don't need a personal trainer. [Kramer enters] All right, I've got to go. We'll talk about this later.
Morty Seinfeld: Plum! [Jerry hangs up]

Jerry: Why are you calling my parents?
Kramer: Well, maybe if you called more often, I wouldn't have to. Listen, is it all right if I watch a tape in here?
Jerry: Why here?
Kramer: Well, I'm taping Canadian Parliament, you know, on C-Span.
Jerry: Okay.
Kramer: Is it all right if I watch it in your bedroom, because your bed is really nice?
Jerry: Fine.
Kramer: Okay!
[Newman runs in with two boxes of popcorn]
Jerry: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! I do not want that in here!
Kramer: Blood!
Jerry: All right.

Vivian: Elaine? Elaine?
Elaine: [smoking cigar] Oh, hi, oh God. I didn't hear you come in.
Vivian: Where's Jimmy?
Elaine: I don't know, I don't know. We had HoHos for dinner and then... And then he put this plastic bag over his head and started running around until he got tired and he laid down somewhere... I tell you, I'm no good watching that kid.
Vivian: Sleeping like an angel. Elaine, you're the best.
Elaine: No, I'm a scatter brain. That's why I probably can't hold a job or keep a man!
Vivian: You're a riot. So are you going to watch Jimmy tomorrow?
Elaine: All right, but I'm running out of purses here. [takes her purse from a punch bowl]

Jerry: What is this?
Kramer: We're making sausages.
Jerry: [stops music] I thought you were gonna watch a video.
Kramer: Yeah, an instructional video on how to make your own sausages.
Jerry: Kramer, I'm not in a mood for this.
Kramer: All right, all right. Newman, let's go grab some mail sacks and haul these beauties out of here.

Elaine: Jerry, I tell you. If this woman dies, it is going to be a major inconvenience.
George: These fries are really really good.
Jerry: All right, that's enough of that. [Jerry takes George's plates and gives them to a waitress]
Elaine: I mean I can't shake this woman. You know, now I have to go to Jimmy's birthday party.
George: Uuh, sleepy.
Elaine: No matter what I do, I cannot weasel out of raising this kid.
Jerry: Well, sleepy here is quite a weasel. Maybe he can bat for you.
Elaine: Yeah, that's what I need. A pinch weasel.

Kramer: Why did you get rid of that sausage?
Jerry: It wasn't me. It was Mr. Mandelbaum.
Kramer: Yeah, well, Newman's not happy. He booted me out of his freezer. Look, I've got to take my blood back to the bank, can I borrow your car?
Jerry: What's wrong with yours?
Kramer: Well, I got no A/C and I got to keep the blood cold or it'll go bad.
Jerry: All right, but this is it. This is the last favor. We're even!
Kramer: All right, Even-Steven. Oh, by the way, when you get back to your apartment, try to keep it down because Newman is taking a nap in your bed.

Vivian: You are very knowledgeable.
George: Well, I'm also an architect. Is that pastrami?
Vivian: Yes, it is. I find the pastrami to be the most sensual of all the salted-cured meats. Hungry?
George: Very.
[They kiss and fall to the floor. Vivian takes the tray of pastrami with her.]
Vivian: Oh, wait... [turns the TV on] Ooh...
George: Vivian!