J.D.: Hello, wife face. Your shift is over, and I'm taking you on a babymoon.
Elliot: What? What are you talking about?
J.D.: A babymoon is a vacation you and your loved one take right before your baby comes out of your special area. And the resort I found is amazing. They have horseback riding and jet skiing.
Elliot: Oh, is there also a punching each other in the stomach contest? 'cause that's another thing that I can't do.
J.D.: Well, we could have hotel sex. You like that. We could do girl hair with our towels. We can turn the temperature all the way down to 50 and then crank it back up to 80.
Elliot: We'll be like gods controlling the weather.

J.D.: We have to do the babymoon. Turk said that once the kid's born, our lives are gonna change forever.
Elliot: Yeah, Turk also said That Knight Rider was a documentary.
J.D.: It's based on fact, Elliot. Everybody knows that.

J.D.: Plus once the kid's born, you're gonna be obsessed. You've probably already picked out what she's gonna wear on her first day of school.
Elliot: So? That decision brands you forever. I still have night terrors about my first day of high school. I wore this suede fringe outfit because of that movie Can't Buy Me Love. Oh, J.D., it's the most amazing film. Fade in: Patrick Dempsey, a fresh-faced nerd.
J.D.: Elliot, do you think there's a Patrick Dempsey movie I haven't seen?

Elliot: J.D., I know that some couples don't make time for each other as new parents,but we're not gonna be like that. We're different.
J.D.: Are you sure? Because you also said we were gonna be different and not fight the first year of marriage.
Elliot: You did the laundry, and you put my work socks beside my gym socks, and they were touching in the drawer. I mean, that's disgusting. I had to throw them out. Okay, I don't have time for this.

Denise: Do I still have to hang out with you as your confidant even though there's not a chance in hell you're gonna listen to anything I say?
Dr. Cox: Yes.
Denise: You know, just because one of those old, married people croaked doesn't mean you or Jordan are gonna die.
Dr. Cox: I shouldn't have brought the will to the hospital. It was a rookie mistake. I mean, around here, you just can't let your work and your personal life overlap.
Denise: Yeah, that was always Ally McBeal's problem, too. It's so hard being a working woman in the mid '90s.

Dr. Cox: You know, he's right about the whole running out of time thing.
Elliot: I guess, but having a baby's not like dying.
Dr. Cox: [chuckles] It's- It's exactly like dying.
Elliot: We have Sam on the weekends. We know how to handle it.
Dr. Cox: Yeah, but stepkids aren't the same. They're a rental. You gotta take mildly good care of 'em, return 'em with a full tank of gas and not too many dents. I'll tell you what there, Barbie. I'm gonna go ahead and give you my own version of something your husband told you but you couldn't hear because you're married to him. After that baby comes, nothing goes back to normal. Time doesn't slow down. It only gets faster. And then 20 years later you find yourself signing a will and realizing that you didn't spend nearly enough time with the one person you care most about.
Elliot: God, I wish J.D. had said that.
Dr. Cox: Ah, don't blame yourself. I can't understand him either. Sounds like a bag of cats.

Elliot: J.D., I got your page. Look, before you say anything, I wanted to tell you I was wrong. I'm sorry. Look, you know this is what I do before big life-changing events. I get way inside my own head and freak out. Like three weeks before med school started, I got way into shoplifting and watching anime pornography. I mean, I'm talking some weird-ass cartoons, man. Anyway, I love you, and I'm sorry that I wasn't able to hear you, and I didn't mean to ruin the babymoon.
J.D.: You didn't. [into walkie-talkie] Panther Claw, the walrus has landed.
Turk: [over walkie-talker] Roger that. We're set for go.

Elliot: What the hell is that?
J.D.: It's our child's crib.
Elliot: It looks like a trap. You trying to catch someone else's baby?
[J.D. briefly looks to the side]
Elliot: J.D., we don't have time for one of your ridiculous little fantasies here. Seriously, I'll beat you up.
J.D.: Oh, sorry.

Turk: [to walkie-talkie] What else did your baby get that we could play with? [noticing interns] Uh, just give him 30 ccs of, uh, medicine, stat. It's a little hospital issue I'm dealing with.

Elliot: I'm so sorry. I was stuck at work, and then on my way home, I got a craving for Cambodian food. J.D., they had a salad that's all beef. There's not a frickin' green thing in this. Well, let's get this party started. I am totally ready to get dirty with you.