Lucy: [v.o.] I'm questioning a lot of things today. Like my choice in men.
Cole: Hey, babe, check it out. I'm Dr. Wolverine.

Denise: Oh, I love that game. If you want to beat the level, you gotta take that sniper out in the church.
Ryan: I know.
Denise: Hey, I know you guys are going home today so I wanted to give you my cell phone number in case you still want to talk ever.
Ryan: Whatever. [takes card]
Denise: Give me that. [takes games console] You're horrible. I'll get the sniper.
[Ryan rests his head on Denise's shoulder]

J.D.: Perry, uh, I want to talk to you about Drew for a second. I-I really think you're making a mistake with him.
Dr. Cox: Don't you have some gay dance rehearsal you got to attend?
J.D.: He has potential, and you know it.
Dr. Cox: He's too old.
J.D.: He's experienced.
Dr. Cox: He quit.
J.D.: But he came back.
Dr. Cox: What exactly do you want from me?
J.D.: I want you to realize you set the bar too high. The attention that you're giving to Drew. I would've killed for that eight years ago. But you weren't ready yet. I had to break you down. I tamed you like a bull.
Dr. Cox: Excuse me, are we approaching a point here, Dorian?
J.D.: Perry, you finally found someone to believe in. Don't ruin it by being you.

J.D.: [v.o.] And if you're smart enough, everyone can learn something.
Dr. Cox: One more question, and all you little assassins can get out of here. Someone please tell me where the foramen ovale in the fetal heart is located? [no hands go up] Drew, save us, please.
Drew: Uh, the interatrial septum.
Dr. Cox: Yes. Nicely done. I'll expect you to be wearing your shirt tomorrow. Everyone leave now.
J.D.: [v.o.] But whatever you do, don't wait for that pat on the back. Because, believe me, it will never, ever-
J.D.: Oh, come on!

J.D.: Oh, I love you, sports grass.
Turk: It is pretty soft.
J.D.: Pretty soft? It's like lying on a cloud. Why did they have to ruin you by painting all these numbers and lines?

Dr. Cox: Newbie, Gandhi, come here.
J.D.: [v.o.] Great. Dr. Cox and his golden boy med student.
Dr. Cox: I wanted you to witness this. Number One, say good-bye to the number one sign.
J.D.: Aw, that's too bad.
J.D.: [v.o.] Whoo-hoo! Arriba!
Dr. Cox: And say hello to the Number One shirt.
J.D.: [v.o.] What?!
Drew: It's beautiful, honestly. The nicest shirt I've ever received from a grown, married man.
Dr. Cox: Oh, go on.
Drew: Please leave me alone.
Dr. Cox: Put it on.

Turk: Hey, wow. That's some crazy ink you got there.
J.D.: What the hell is that thing, anyway?
Drew: I don't know. I woke up after a 3-day bender driving a forklift and sporting this.
J.D.: "My name's Drew. I'm so cool 'cause I've been in prison and I got a tattoo."
[fantasy: A man with a face like Drew's tattoo appears before J.D.]
Man: Mock him, and I'll eat your soul!
[reality:]
Turk: Tattoo spooked you a little, huh?
J.D.: His breath was so cold. So cold.

Dr. Cox: Let's begin with some Q and A. You, seat filler, tell me the thickest layers in the walls of veins.
Lucy: Uh...
Dr. Cox: Thank you for getting us off to that rousing start. Who's next? Ah. Pin-up girl avoiding eye contact? Ugly Don Cheadle? What about you, legacy? Got anything?
Cole: Well, uh, you see-
Dr. Cox: No, curiously, I don't see.
Lucy: When Dr. Cox gets like this, It feels a lot like second grade gym class.
[fantasy: everyone is wearing gym uniforms as Dr. Cox holds a bunch of dodgeballs:]
Dr. Cox: All right, you hairless babies. Show some sack and pick up a ball. Who wants it? You? Huh? You? You! You're out! Watch out! Watch out! You!
Maya: Not in the face!
Dr. Cox: Sure, in the face! Take it! Anybody else? Oh, thank you, muffin.
[As Dr. Cox throws a dodgeball right towards Lucy, Drew calmly catches it and tosses it back]
[reality:]
Drew: The thickest layers of the walls of the veins are the tunica externa.
Dr. Cox: Correct. Everyone else, stare into my eyes so I can clock the very instant when you first realized that you're not going to make it. Here we go. Thank you. That was lovely.

Cole: Hey, congrats, bro. You really brought it today. Oh, but who's that nippin' at your heels? Uh-oh. It's C-dog.
Drew: I'm sorry, I don't speak hipster gibberish.
Cole: Oh, I'm talking about this epic battle you and I are locked in for the number one spot.
Drew: Okay, I'm assuming you like to be called "dude."
Cole: Love it.
Drew: Dude, I don't like the spotlight. I don't like the extra attention. I tried med school before, and I crashed and burned, okay?
Cole: Oh, playing it humble. Nice angle. But careful walking on the tracks 'cause there's a Cole train a-comin'. Choo-choo!

Dr. Bradley: Turk, thanks so much for taking me under your wing. It's such a privilege, I feel like I should be paying you, so...
Turk: No, I don't want your money.
Dr. Bradley: Okay, tearing it up, sir.
Turk: No, don't- Don't tear up your money.
Dr. Bradley: My bad, sir. Taping it up.
Turk: Tom, you're ten years older than me, and you have a wife and kid. Please, have some dignity.
Dr. Bradley: Too late, sir.