J.D.: Tiki time. Should we go check in with everybody else?
Turk: Not yet. I gotta wiz. [jumps in the pool]
Elliot: There's a bathroom, like, right there.
Turk: I know but I'm already in.

Jordan: You know, the Abacos have incredible snorkeling. Since you're not a strong swimmer, let's say we get really, really drunk and go later.
Dr. Cox: Darling, I distinctly remember telling you I had to do some work down here. But if you'd like me to stop so that we can spend some time together, you just say the word.
Jordan: Never.

Jordan: Hey, meathead. I've got a present for you. I'm thinking of going bone fishing.
Todd: I'm going bone fishing right now. And Ms. Sullivan, thanks so much for that setup.
Jordan: You're welcome. Go away.

Janitor: Why the hell did you come?
J.D.: I rallied the troops.
Janitor: I invited you to a wedding in a foreign country on three days' notice, you weren't supposed to come! I just wanted the gifts. You see any of the other 847 invites here? We're not even having a ceremony, man!
J.D.: Fine, then we'll just have a vacation. No harm done.
Janitor: All right.
Elliot: You have to.
Lady: Elliot, you are so right. Honey, we're gonna have a ceremony. A big one.
Janitor: [to J.D.] I'm gonna kill you.

J.D.: Hey, baby. What are you doing in there?
Elliot: [o.s.] Oh, just putting some sunscreen on my face.
J.D.: Good, cause I think now might be a really nice time to tell you that I love you so much-
Elliot: J.D, I'm pooing.
J.D.: See you at the beach.

Turk: I mean, I miss Izzy but I always imagined being some place like this with you.
J.D.: Ssh. Just be here, Turk.

Elliot: You two both've gotten a good look? Some of these. Little of that. Yeah? Good, then we're done. Give me that. [eats] Oh, my God. Conch fritters. You guys, I'm gonna see you later. I'm gonna go get like 40 of these.

Dr. Cox: Hey, Gandhi. Here comes your better half.
Turk: That's what I'm talking a- bout?
J.D.: She's wearing shorts and a mom suit. [hums]
Turk: No. Don't you [hums] my wife!
Carla: Hi guys! How you doing? I left my cell phone in the room. I'm gonna go back and get it in case something happens with Izzy, I'll be back. How awesome is this! [trips]
Dr. Cox: Doesn't look any better going away, does it, Gandhi?
Turk: No.

Elliot: Anyway, when you tell me, make sure I'm wearing something cute, like my new blue bikini, it really helps my like pop-
J.D.: Elliot, stop, okay? You told me you loved me, I told you I Ioved you back. We both know how we feel about each other, that should be enough, right? Stop acting so crazy.
J.D.: [v.o.] I know it's wrong but with our relationship clicking, I couldn't help but feel smug watching everyone else's melt in the hot Bahamian sun.

Jordan: Oh my god. Are you ever gonna stop working and have some fun?
Dr. Cox: See, I knew darn well you were full of crap when you said you didn't care if I spent time with you, but truth be told, I finished all my work on the plane before we got here, I just wanted to prove a point.
[Jordan throws Dr. Cox's laptop into the ocean]
Dr. Cox: Wind is really taking that baby.