J.D.: Anyway, I got you a present. It's an exact replica of the tiki from The Brandy Bunch Goes To Hawaii episode. Greg had this on when he got into the surfing accident, Peter had it on when he saw the tarantula in the bed. And Alice-
J.D.: Turk, Turk. I've seen it before. Do you remember the music they played when anything bad happened? [both hum]
Turk: Wait, you don't have one.
J.D.: Or do I? [swings necklace around]
Turk: Downstairs!
J.D.: Really?
Turk: No! What's wrong with you?
J.D.: I didn't want to do it either, I think it's stupid.

Turk: Where'd you get them?
J.D.: I bought them on the Interweb. The seller was anonymous but I think I know who it was.
[fantasy:]
Barry Williams: Sold! Finally. These things have been ruining my life for too long. The curse is yours, John Dorian. The curse is yours! [walks through bead door]
[reality:]
J.D.: Man, that guy hates normal doors.
Turk: Do you think if we wear these, bad stuff will happen to us?
J.D.: That's kind of the fun, isn't it?

Elliot: Turk, I need your signature on that spleenectomy patient's discharge form.
Turk: This pen doesn't work. [Turk and J.D. hum]
Elliot: That's gonna be annoying.
J.D.: Now you made my woman all mad. [both hum]
Elliot: Good God.
J.D.: Tiki-bump.

J.D.: Uh, that was sextastic.
Elliot: I kind of feel lightheaded.
J.D.: Yeah, good loving will do that to you.
Elliot: So will not eating for 36 hours.
J.D.: Elliot, just say it was the good loving, as a joke.
Elliot: Fine. It was the good loving.
J.D.: [v.o.] I knew it.

Elliot: Okay. What the hell. Here goes. I love you. J.D., I love you so much the last thing I think about before we go to bed at night and the first thing I think about when I wake up in the morning is our future.
J.D.: Come here. I love you, too.
J.D.: [v.o.] And there it was. A moment so perfect that I-
Elliot: That's it?
J.D.: What?
Elliot: I did not just say "I love you", I actually explained how much I love you, plus you weren't even looking at me.
J.D.: But I do love you. I think you're the most amazing woman that I've ever-
Elliot: No, no. You are not getting off that easy. You have to obsess over it a little like I did. See, I actually jointed down some notes in my notebook on how to get into the whole "I love you" conversation before I settled on the fake spontaneous blurting thing.
J.D.: You do know that you're a crazy person?
Elliot: Course.
J.D.: Just checking.
Elliot: Now you think about it and surprise me when I'm not expecting it. Night.
J.D.: Elliot, when I think about our love-
Elliot: Too soon.

Jordan: What are you doing? The van to take us to the airport is downstairs.
Dr. Cox: It's called my job, it's that little thing I do seventy to eighty hours a week while you're eating, drinking, napping, spending, plucking, ignoring the children and singing rap tunes into a hair brush.
Jordan: Huh?
Dr. Cox: You forgot about the nanny cam in the bedroom, didn't you?
[nanny cam footage:]
Jordan: [raps] I like it like that She working that back I don't know how to act Slow motion for me
[present:]
Jordan: I did, but I'm okay with it. Because I'm fly.

Dr. Cox: You realize I'm probably gonna have to work the entire time we're there?
Jordan: The only thing better than going on vacation without our kids is going without our kids and you're too busy to spend time with me.
Dr. Cox: You don't mean that.
Jordan: I do. It's an amazing gift.

Turk: What the hell are you wearing?
J.D.: I just got my Bahamas gear on.
Elliot: J.D., have you seen my cute white linen shirt?
J.D.: I just think it looks better on me.
Elliot: Babe, I know that you're very proud you've been working out, okay, but we're in a hospital so button up.
J.D.: Fine. The second we get to the Bahamas, it's going to be raining abs.

J.D.: What's that about?
Ted: Todd went to med school there.
J.D.: [v.o.] And then we saw where Todd got it from. His old professor was the best high-fiver in all the world.
[fantasy: As the professor high fives Todd, it causes a sonic boom]
J.D.: [v.o.] And then, we'd all have sex to celebrate surviving.

Dr. Kelso: Chop chop, Ted.
Ted: I could kill him here.