Elliot: I don't get why Turk was so upset about Rowdy. I mean, he's just a creepy, stuffed, stupid yellow dead dog. Too many adjectives?

J.D.: Dr. Cox, I want to thank you for that "everyone's a murderer" speech. Nice scare tactic. Unfortunately, my residents have stopped eating.
Dr. Cox: That wasn't a scare tactic, Portia. Eventually everyone commits a sin of omission or doesn't act quickly enough, and somebody kicks the bucket. It's really- It's really not a question of "if", it's a question of "when."

Janitor: Heard you're trying to clean a dead dog.
Carla: Yeah, who told you that?
Janitor: Mmm, the wind... Blonde doctor.

Elliot: Turk, got this patient who's got a damaged heart valve and needs a replacement.
Turk: Is he a good candidate for surgery?
Elliot: Definitely. Thirty-five, married, good job, cute little boy, great dog... Can't remember what kind they said. Long-time recovering heroin addict... A bulldog, that's what it was. Named Paris. After the city, not the slutty socialite tramp.
Turk: He's a heroin addict?
Elliot: Yeah, but he is, like, super serious about his sobriety. I mean, he's been to rehab like six times.
Turk: Sounds like he needs to dial it up to super-duper serious, huh.

Dr. Molly Clock: Look, I've dealt with a lot of ethics committees, and you're gonna be great. I mean the key is just be confident.
Elliot: Well, I'm not.
Dr. Molly Clock: I tell you what: I'll go with you for moral support. And, you know, if things get dicey 'cause it's just a bunch of stuffed shirts, then we could make out and they'll give you whatever you want.
Todd: [runs in] What? I thought I heard something.
Elliot: Goodbye, Todd.
Todd: Back to the transplant.

Elliot: I understand that because of his drug problem, some of you don't think that Mr. Phillips is a good candidate for surgery, but believe me, he understands that this heart valve is a responsibility. Those of you who have met him, like Ted, can attest to this.
Dr. Kelso: This is a very dicey case. Ted, what do you think?
Ted: She knows my name! Whatever she wants!
Dr. Kelso: Very ethical. Why don't I open the floor to those people who currently do not have erections? Dr.
Clock. Do you think this guy'll stay clean?
Dr. Molly Clock: Oh, I'm just here as a friend. I think you should ask Ted again.
Ted: Oh, good God, she knows it too! Am I awake?

Dr. Molly Clock: Can I talk to you outside? Did you just page me so you could rub my face in this?
Elliot: Yes. Uh, there's also a couple of messages on your home machine.
Dr. Molly Clock: Look, Elliot, I hope I'm wrong, and I hope he stays clean. Let's just not make this personal, okay?
Elliot: Said the loser. Who lost.
Dr. Molly Clock: Don't push me. 'cause one of the reasons I became a therapist is I've always been able to zero in on a person's greatest insecurity.
Elliot: Oh, I'm real scared, Molly, what'cha gonna-
Dr. Molly Clock: Eyebrows.
J.D.: "Eyebrows." Like that's gonna make you- [Elliot sobs] Elliot, come on, you can't be that insecure.
Elliot: Giant Adam's apple.
J.D.: I have to go.

Janitor: Ruff, ruff.
Carla: You found Rowdy!?!
Janitor: Nope. Not Rowdy. This is Steven. You know, Rowdy was 48 inches from snout to tail, Steven's only 46 on a good day.
Carla: I think we're okay.
Janitor: I got him off another taxidermy guy on the internet. Had to trade him my, uh, squirrel army.
Carla: Oh, I'm sorry you had to do that; but thank you.
Janitor: Nah. Everyone thinks squirrel armies are so great. I'm not sure it's the healthiest habit in the world.

J.D.: [v.o.] Being the new doctor at a hospital can be difficult. That's why it's always nice when someone takes the time to reach out and befriend you.
Ron: Hey, I'm Ron, I'm a new doctor here.
J.D.: Yeah, Ron, the I Don't Care ward's down there.

J.D.: [v.o.] Anyway, the person who reached out to Molly was Elliot.
Elliot: Hey, do you wanna go down to Little Tokyo and do karaoke with me tonight?
Dr. Molly Clock: Do people with trichotillomania compulsively pull their hair out?
Elliot: Do they?
Dr. Molly Clock: Yeah.
Elliot: Cool. 'cause inviting you to karaoke is kind of a big deal to me. I'm a little shy about my "-aoke".
Dr. Molly Clock: I'm sure you have nothing to be embarrassed about.
Elliot: Oh, I don't know. I'm pretty tone-deaf. And I do these, like, kick moves that I don't think people really get. Plus, I sometimes wear a cape. Eh. It's probably all in my head.
J.D.: [v.o.] It's not.