Scrubs Quotes
- Episodes
- Season 1
- Season 2
- Season 3
- Season 4
- 401 My Old Friend's New Friend
- 402 My Office
- 403 My New Game
- 404 My First Kill
- 405 Her Story
- 406 My Cake
- 407 My Common Enemy
- 408 My Last Chance
- 409 My Malpractice Decision
- 410 My Female Trouble
- 411 My Unicorn
- 412 My Best Moment
- 413 My Ocardial Infarction
- 414 My Lucky Charm
- 415 My Hypocritical Oath
- 416 My Quarantine
- 417 My Life in Four Cameras
- 418 My Roommates
- 419 My Best Laid Plans
- 420 My Boss' Free Haircut
- 421 My Lips Are Sealed
- 422 My Big Move
- 423 My Faith in Humanity
- 424 My Drive-By
- 425 My Changing Ways
- Season 5
- Season 6
- Season 7
- Season 8
- Season 9
Scrubs
Scrubs follows a group of medical students, J.D., Elliot and Turk, as they begin work at Sacred Heart teaching hospital.
Starring:
Zach Braff, Sarah Chalke, Donald Faison, Neil Flynn, Ken Jenkins, John C. McGinley, Judy Reyes.
Recurring Actors:
Robert Maschio, Sam Lloyd, Aloma Wright, Christa Miller, Johnny Kastl, Nicole Sullivan, Heather Graham, Tom Cavanagh, Elizabeth Banks, Eliza Coupe, Kerry Bishé, Michael Mosley, Dave Franco.
Original Run: 2001-2010.
Quote of the Day
Quote from J.D. in My Faith in Humanity
J.D.: [v.o.] As for me, seeing Jake come back and do the right thing restored my faith in humanity.
Martha: I can't believe that 6 young men stopped to help an old lady change a tire.
J.D.: And don't you forget who put that tire on and tightened those lugnuts, Martha. Ok, sweetie, have fun at the swap-meet. Drive safe.
J.D.: [v.o.] Yeah, it sure feels good to do the right thing.
[As the car drives away, the wheel comes off]
J.D.: Righty-loosey, lefty-tighty.
J.D.: [v.o.] Oh, righty-tighty, lefty-loosey. Oh, man, it still feels good.
Popular Quotes
Quote from Turk in My Advice to You
J.D.: [v.o.] It's always nice when someone from Carla's family comes to town. Mostly because she cleans our apartment.
Carla: Why is there a pancake in the silverware drawer?
Turk: You mean, why is there silverware in the pancake drawer? Wuh-huh!
Quote from Janitor in My First Day
Janitor: The door is broke. Probably the fifth time or so it don't open.
J.D.: Maybe a penny's stuck in there.
Janitor: Why a penny?
J.D.: I don't know.
Janitor: Did you stick a penny in there?
J.D.: No, I was making small talk.
Janitor: If I find a penny in there, I'm taking you down.
Quote from Dr. Cox in My Student
J.D.: [v.o.] It's hard trying to figure out how to reach somebody. I guess the thing I can do is to think of someone I look up to, and remember how they got through to me.
Dr. Cox: Newbie, the only way you could be less productive right now is if you were in fact the wall on which you're leaning. Of course, then you'd be providing some jackass with a wall on which to lean against and reflect on what a jackass he truly is. I know. Here it's a conundrum.
Quote Collections
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“Elliot Reid: The Bajingo Monologues”
A collection of quotes featuring Elliot's colorful alternatives to clinical terms for the reproductive parts.
14 quotes
-
A collection of quotes featuring J.D.'s best fantasies.
35 quotes
Trending Quotes
Quote from Janitor in My First Day
Janitor: The door is broke. Probably the fifth time or so it don't open.
J.D.: Maybe a penny's stuck in there.
Janitor: Why a penny?
J.D.: I don't know.
Janitor: Did you stick a penny in there?
J.D.: No, I was making small talk.
Janitor: If I find a penny in there, I'm taking you down.
Quote from Turk in My Advice to You
J.D.: [v.o.] It's always nice when someone from Carla's family comes to town. Mostly because she cleans our apartment.
Carla: Why is there a pancake in the silverware drawer?
Turk: You mean, why is there silverware in the pancake drawer? Wuh-huh!
Quote from Dr. Cox in My Blind Date
Dr. Cox: Ah, dammit! Dammit. Dammit. So close. Dammit! [sighs] I'm sorry. I'll be fine. [sighs] Perfect game. Call it.
Elliot: There's five minutes left. It's just the two of us here. Can't we just wait?
Dr. Cox: Just call it.
Elliot: No. We all need this. So, no, I won't call it.
Dr. Cox: You know, that's probably the dumbest thing anybody's said to me around here in a long time. There's nothing wrong with a one-hitter, there, Barbie. In fact, it's miraculous. And I won't have you, of all people, cheapen what should be an endless pursuit of perfection just because you want the world to laugh with you tonight. Now call it.
Elliot: Time of death, 11.55.
Dr. Cox: Good girl. Better go get yourself a cup of coffee. New game starts in four minutes.