Turk: [talking in his sleep] It's nice to meet you too, Chuck.
Carla: Oh, he's having one of his Love Connection dreams.
Turk: You sure? I'd love to go out with her again if you'll pay for it.
Carla: Buppy.
Turk: [waking up] Uh? What?
Carla: We've been looking all over for you.
Turk: Why? What did I miss?
[flashback to Carla and Molly meeting Chuck Woolery:]
Chuck Woolery: Bye, Carla. I'm sorry I didn't get to meet your husband.
Carla: Oh, I know.
Dr. Molly Clock: So, Mr. Woolery: what have you been doing since The Love Connection was cancelled?
Chuck Woolery: Love Connection was never cancelled. It's just not on TV anymore. I still do the occasional episode in my basement with singles from the neighborhood. I'm not crazy.
Carla: No. [chuckles]
[present:]
Turk: Aww, stupid nap.

J.D.: [v.o.] As for my family, we had our own way of breaking the news.
Dan: Hey, little brother.
J.D.: [v.o.] We did it with cake.
J.D.: What happened?
Dan: What, a guy can't take three days off work, travel eight hundred miles on a bus with a double-layer fudge cake just to say, "Hey, how're things?"
J.D.: Dan.
Dan: Dad died.
J.D.: There's ice cream in the fridge.

Turk: How you doing, buddy?
J.D.: I don't know it hasn't really hit me yet.
Dan: Oh, it will eventually. But don't worry when it does, Big Bro' will be there. [J.D. laughs] What? What is it?
J.D.: Dan, I love you, but being there for people isn't really yo' thang.
Dan: No, that was Old Dan. Look at me: this is New Dan! I'm totally here for you.
[cut to Dan drinking beers in the bathtub]
J.D.: Dan, you've been in here for, like, nine hours: you okay?
Dan: Well, I'd feel a lot better if you could give that ol' "H" knob there a little twist. Body temp's a bit low. [sighs] Now I can feel my tootsies.

Turk: I been a little sleepy these last couple of weeks, I've dropped a few pounds. I don't know, I think I've got the flu, baby.
Carla: No.
Turk: Yeah.
Carla: You're not allowed to get sick, you're my "Superman." I mean, if you're in bed, who's going to give me my back rubs, or unscrew the peanut butter jar, or walk around all day in my new high heels just to stretch them out.
Turk: She's kidding! I've never done that. Not in front of the Devil Woman.
Dr. Molly Clock: I got a new pair of pumps.
Turk: No.

J.D.: [v.o.] Whenever someone close to you dies, it's important to keep your head above water.
J.D.: Dan.
Dan: I'm up.
J.D.: You know, it wasn't exactly easy showering with you in there.
Dan: Well, it wasn't exactly easy for me, either. You have Dad's butt.
J.D.: You think you'll get out of the tub today?
Dan: Yeah, today doesn't look good by the way, could you get me another beer?
J.D.: No, look, I put a six-pack for you in the toilet.
Dan: Ooh.
J.D.: I gotta go to work!
Dan: Okay, little brother, call me if you need anything. I mean, anything from this particular area.

Ted: Look, Mr. Cannon, let's drop the forgetful act. Now, if you don't sign these papers, this hospital will discharge you, and then we'll see what you do and do not remember.
Dr. Kelso: The man has Alzheimer's, bozo.
Ted: It still won't smooth down.

Dr. Kelso: He's not a day over fifty-five and he has Alzheimer's. Really makes you think, doesn't it?
Janitor: You're over fifty-five, aren't you, sir?
Dr. Kelso: What's your point?
Janitor: Nothing.

J.D.: [v.o.] Even though I deal with death every time I walk into this place, I never dealt with it from this side before. It's full of surprises, whether it's a small gesture from a co-worker...
[The Janitor moves out of the way and respectfully lets J.D. pass in the hospital entrance]
J.D.: [v.o.] or a big gesture from someone you've never even met before.
Chuck Woolery: Walk tall, kiddo.
J.D.: [v.o.] Of course sometime it's a little awkward even with an old friend.
Elliot: Hey.
J.D.: Hey.
Elliot: I just wanted to...
J.D.: Yeah.
Elliot: Look...
J.D.: Thanks.
Elliot: 'Kay.
J.D.: 'Kay.

Turk: I gotta pee.
Carla: Don't you think it's weird you've already gone seven times today?
Turk: I think it's weird you're counting.
Carla: It's impossible to get a doctor to go see a doctor.

[In the bathroom, Turk lines his head up to afro drawn on the mirror:]
Turk: Excuse me. Did somebody say they're looking for the baddest detective in town?
Dr. Molly Clock: Awesome afro.