Janitor: Was I brave? "Brave" is a pretty strong word. Perhaps the better term is "valiant." Off you go.
Janitor: [v.o.] Anyway, for once I didn't feel like a jerk.
Nurse: Is he still talking about holding that patient?
Dr. Johnson: Oh, give him a break. You know how hard it is for us to come here and bust our humps every day. Imagine how it must feel being here and knowing you don't even make a difference.

Janitor: You know, I don't care what those people said. I know I make a difference around here.
[at the nurses' station:]
Dr. Johnson: Hey, Jill.
Janitor: They don't know how different it would be if I wasn't here.
[fantasy: at the nurses' station:]
Dr. Johnson: Hey, Jill.
[reality:]
Janitor: Yep, a lot of lives would change. In fact, I am gonna prove that to them right now. I am gonna fix your computer. I just gotta go get my real tools. I've turned all these into eating utensils. Dig in.

Dr. Kelso: You know what time it is?
Janitor: [v.o.] 4:15.
J.D.: 3:30.
Dr. Kelso: Oh, thank goodness. I thought I was running late.
Janitor: [v.o.] I do love to lie.

Elliot: Look at my face. Keith, what does it mean when I'm frowning?
Keith: That you're feeling insecure and you're suspicious that I think someone on television is prettier than you.
Elliot: At work, Keith.
Keith: Ah.
Elliot: Well, Keith was half right. This face does mean that I am suspicious. I was reviewing the medical records and I noticed that Mrs. Best received an inordinate amount of insulin. Now, I wanna know who screwed up.

Dr. Kelso: Hey. Thanks to your little telling-me-the wrong-time prank, I was 45 minutes late for my Oriental massage. Which meant that instead of Pang-Wa, I had to settle for Ching-Lau.
Janitor: So?
Dr. Kelso: Ching-Lau is a dude! You know, I've accepted the fact that you're useless around here. Maybe you could just try a little harder not to make things worse.

Elliot: Have you seen Carla?
Dr. Cox: Nope. My turn. Have you seen how stupid you look when you do your angry quick-walk? [imitates Elliot]
Elliot: Carla covered for one of my interns and then lied to my face about it.
Dr. Cox: Come on. Of course she did. If an intern got hammered by their attending and stripped of what little self-confidence they have every time they messed up, there wouldn't be any interns left. And luckily for everyone in this dump, Carla happens to have been here long enough to be able to identify when someone needs to be protected.
Elliot: These kids need to start standing on their own two-
Dr. Cox: You got that right, sister. Because you definitely got where you are on your own.
Elliot: You sure didn't give me any help.
Dr. Cox: I didn't say I did.
[As Elliot walks through the I.C.U, she sees Carla helping her when she was an intern]

Carla: Turk, I get it. Having a baby changes things.
Turk: I just don't want to say goodbye to the life we have now, you know.
Carla: Well, baby, you don't have to. We'll still have fun, go to bars, go dancing...
Turk: Really?
Carla: No. We'll have a baby. That would be crazy. Just focus on the positives. For instance, we'll still have lots of sex.
Turk: Really?
Carla: No! But I can tell you that this is normal. You'll get through it. [kisses Turk]
Turk: Come to think of it, what would really help me get through it...
Carla: [climbs on top of Turk] Man, you're gullible today.

Janitor: How was your day?
J.D.: Cold.
Janitor: [v.o.] Now help him up so he thinks there's hope for our relationship yet.
J.D.: [v.o.] Even though the Janitor had basically kidnapped me, when he helped me up, I couldn't help but feel there was hope for our relationship yet. I guess that being locked up all day makes you appreciate the things that matter.

[Turk has a baby doll strapped to his chest as he looks in a mirror:]
Turk: What up, dawg? You know I'm down to play ball, I just gotta drop Junior off with old lady at the ducky park, yeah. Yeah, then we're gonna hoop it up. This isn't really gonna work for me. I can't do it. I can't.