‘End of the World’
Season 4, Episode 6 - Aired November 3, 2011
A doomsday cult in Pawnee predicts the end of the world. Leslie is upset when Shauna Malwae-Tweep shows interest in Ben. Andy and April decide to knock some things off his bucket list. Meanwhile, Tom and Jean-Ralphio have one last party at their bankrupt entertainment company.
Quote from Andy
Andy: Miss Leslie Knope, I present to you Herb Scaifer. [bows]
Leslie Knope: Again, Andy, you don't need to bow.
Andy: [bows] As you wish, ma'am.
Quote from Andy
Leslie Knope: Tonight, the followers of Reasonableism will be joining together to await the return of Zorp, the giant lizard God who will destroy the earth with his cleansing fire of judgment. Also, light refreshments will be served.
Jerry: Ooh, last year they had pizza. Is there gonna be pizza?
Leslie Knope: Mmm, says they've got turkey sandwiches and the nectar of a thousand sorrows.
Andy: Oh, that is so good. It's root beer and red wine. I went to one meeting.
Quote from Leslie Knope
Chris: Why does the cult call themselves "The Reasonableists"?
Leslie Knope: Well, they figure if people criticize them it'll seem like they're attacking something very reasonable.
Ben: That's weirdly brilliant.
Quote from Andy
April: What should we do tonight?
Andy: I don't know, I just figure we'll just order some pizza. You watch me play Xbox, and then I could watch you make some prank phone calls? We get hammered? Make out?
April: We do that every night.
Andy: That's because repetition is the key to a good marriage.
Quote from Ann
Ann: Leslie says you still need to pay for the permit, it's $28.
Herb Scaifer: Oh, I'm sorry. Here's the check. You can cash that tomorrow. [Herb and his fellow Reasonableists laugh]
[Ann shakes her head to camera]
Quote from Ron Swanson
Ron Swanson: Flutes are $80 apiece. And recorders are 150.
Herb Scaifer: Hey, they're beautiful. Would you take a check?
Ron Swanson: Sure. [all laugh]
Quote from Tom
Tom: Welcome to E720's end of the world celebration.
Jean-Ralphio: The entire party's a VIP area.
Tom: There's also a double VIP area.
Jean-Ralphio: A triple VIP area.
Tom: And the Centurion Club elite VIP area.
Jean-Ralphio: Sponsored by Sobe Lifewater.
Tom: No one's allowed in there, not even us.
Jean-Ralphio: Uh- uh.
Quote from Tom
Tom: We have not one, but six open bars. And best of all, Snake Juice ice fountain.
Jean-Ralphio: Chill me, T!
Both: [annoying sing song] Juice is so chilled!
Tom: Craps!
Jean-Ralphio: Roulette! Ahrr, matey. Pirate ship bouncy castle with bubbles.
Tom: Shrimp wall. And special VIP shrimp distributor Indiana Pacers' Center Roy Hibbert.
Roy Hibbert: Is all you want me to do? Pass out shrimp to people at the party?
Tom: Yes, and stop asking questions!
Quote from Tom
Tom: Ballers and ballerettes, fasten your seatbelts. The perfect party begins...
Both: Clink! Now.
[doors open to no one]
Both: [relieving sigh]
Jean-Ralphio: Thank God.
Tom: No one shows up to a good party on time. If anybody actually showed up right now, the whole party would have been ruined.
Jean-Ralphio: It would have been a disaster. I don't want to go to that party.
Quote from Ben
Shauna Malwae-Tweep: Does the city consider them a threat to public safety?
Chris: Oh, not at all, Shauna Malwae-Tweep. It's been over thirty years since there's been any incident involving the reasonabelists.
Shauna Malwae-Tweep: So I shouldn't interpret anything from the fact that there are two people from the city manager's office here?
Ben: Well, nothing except that I had nothing better to do. Which probably says more about me than them.
Shauna Malwae-Tweep: Thanks.