Chris: Buddhists feel that human beings are unlikely to be reincarnated as human beings. So the problem with reincarnation is that you could be reborn as a pretzel. Or a socket wrench. Ron, if you could be reincarnated, what would you like to be?
Ron Swanson: Socket wrench sounds pretty good, actually.
Ann: I think the danger in believing in reincarnation is that you spend so much time trying to figure out what you're going to be in the next lifetime that you forget to enjoy the one you're in now.
Chris: Ann Perkins. That was beautiful. Let's go to that party that Tom's having. Have some fun in the life.
Ann: Sounds good!
Ron Swanson: Wait. I wanna change my answer. I'll go with bolt cutters.

Ann: Maybe you'll be reincarnated as a good dancer.
Chris: Ann Perkins, you zinged me. I love that!

Donna: Tommy, this is the best party I've ever been to. And I'm not just saying that.
Jean-Ralphio: For real, T.T., think about it, man. Drum lines, personalized gift bags, tigers.
Tom: It's pretty great. But it's not perfect. I mean, David Beckham didn't show up.
Donna: You knew that was a long shot. Honestly, this is perfect.
Tom: I guess.

Andy: This car is nice! How long you think it'll take us?
April: Uh, the map says 30 hours but I drive really fast.
Andy: 30 hours? Oh, crap! I didn't bring any music.
April: No!
Andy: Does your dad got anything good? Ooh, Starlight Express, the original cast recording, act 1. "Who Moved My Cheese?", book on tape.
April: Next.
Andy: Bobby McFerrin?
April: No! We cannot listen Bobby McFerrin for 60 hours of driving we'd murder each other.
Andy: I'll tell you what. You play whatever you want, I'm just going to take a real quick snooze for like 12 hours so I'm fresh.

Leslie Knope: Shauna Malwae-Tweep thinks you're cute.
Ben: What?
Leslie Knope: That's why I took you to Mick Jagger's abandoned gas station. Because she thinks you're cute, and I was afraid you guys were gonna make out and have babies, and I had no right to do that to you or your future children. And it wasn't until just now that I realized the romantic part of our relationship is over. So... I'm sorry. And, uh, why don't you tell Shauna to make herself decent and I'll apologize to her as well.
Ben: Oh, well, Shauna's not here. Oh.
Leslie Knope: See what I did?
Ben: I do.
Leslie Knope: I'm very sneaky. Okay, okay, well....

Tom: So it looks like we'll each end up with about $5,000 apiece.
Jean-Ralphio: Stop. We get five g's each? That's amazing!
Tom: You started out with 450,000.
Jean-Ralphio: Remember when DJ Bluntz made us our own personal entrance beat?
Tom: Remember the opening night party when you danced so hard with Tess the receptionist and you broke one of your ribs?
Jean-Ralphio: It never healed properly. Every breath is agony. [laughs] Stop.

Jean-Ralphio: So what's next, Tommy Davidson? I say we invest our ten large and then I "accidentally" get run over by a city bus. and we start our own hip-hop label.
Tom: Listen, we could play it safe. But that's not what e720 is all about.
Jean-Ralphio: No, it is not.
Tom: We have this place for one more night, right?
Jean-Ralphio: We're outtie tomorrow at noon.
Tom: What if we took every dime we had left, threw one last party. Made it the essence of everything we wanted the company to be. A party... For the end of the world.
Jean-Ralphio: Shh! You had me at "every dime we have left." Because I'm in like Lara Flynn... Boyle... from The Practice.
Both: Dilly dilly dilly dilly dilly dilly dilly swag!

Tom: Got a head? Maybe you want a free Fedora. Wanna make out? Go to out make out room. And before you leave, don't forget the gift bag. Jean-Ralphio, there are animals on the guest list tonight?
Jean-Ralphio: Let me check, T.T. Oh, just one. Bengal Tiger!
Tom: We also hired ten huge, scary bouncers with earpieces. What up, Keith? He actually once tossed me out of a club three years ago. Water under the bridge.
Jean-Ralphio: DJ Bluntz is mixing up some new beats. Only 200 people will be admitted to retain exclusivity.