Trending New Girl Quotes

Quote from Winston in Goldmine

Winston: If you just give me a chance to exp... [Michelle closes the door]
Coach: Well, easy come, easy go.
Winston: Easy? Easy?! You just stole six months of my life, man. I am... I am P.O.'d, hombre!
Coach: Winston!

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Quote from Winston in No Girl

Winston: I got so much love to give, Cece. I really do, so why am I always on the phone, getting dumped, crying my eyes out like an idiot?
Cece: Well, there must be something that you can do.
Winston: Well, you know, if Jess were here, she would tell me to: [imitating Jess]: "Just believe in yourself, Winston, and, like, be positive."

Quote from Schmidt in Lillypads

Schmidt: Okay, well, that's enough, Jess. You're sending Ruth straight to Triangles. You hear that? [mimics a chicken] That's the schoolyard chickens. And they're... and they're pecking at Ruth. And this time, they want her eyes.
Ruth: I need my eyes for TV.
Schmidt: Oh, honey, don't you worry about a thing, okay? Daddy's gonna take over now. But the clock is a-ticking, so let's start with a drill.
Jess: No. No drills.
Schmidt: DRILL is an acronym. D: Do it. R : Redo it. I: Imitate what you just did. L: Learn to keep doing it. L: Live the rest of your life doing it. DRILL, DRILL, DRILL.
Jess: Technically, that's an acrostic. [high-pitched] Sweet burn, Jess.
Schmidt: Yeah. You got me. DRILL.

Quote from Nick in Basketsball

Nick: Not only that. He's a Pistons fan, and I'm a Bulls fan.
Jess: Right. I don't understand, no.
Nick: It's rivalries.
Jess: Sharks and cats.
Nick: Yankees, Red Sox.
Jess: Whales and dolphins.
Nick: Pistons fan, Bulls fan. End of discussion.
Jess: I get it. Jean Valjean and Javert.
Nick: Yeah, definitely. This is like a Jean Vanjer and Vajer situation.

Quote from Schmidt in The Story of the 50

Schmidt: So, it's my birthday.
Jess: Right now?
Schmidt: Right now.
Jess: Happy birthday.
Schmidt: Happy birthday, Schmidt. I'm 29, folks. What's up? 29! 29! [laughs] Can you please not tell anybody I just did that? That feels embarrassing. Actually, you know what? I don't care what people think. Do you think I care too much about what people think, Jess?
Jess: Maybe a little bit.
Schmidt: Maybe.

Quote from Schmidt in Reagan

Schmidt: You are kind. You are brave. You are a Maccabee. You are Daddy's favorite boy. You are loved by a wonderful woman. Deep breath in... [inhales] All heart, all action. Movement, direction, directive.

Quote from Schmidt in LAXMas

Schmidt: You know what they call you where I'm from? A dirty old bitch. Dirty old "biatch." "Biatch," just in general. 'Cause I ain't from Manhattan, sir. I'm from Long Island. 5-1-6, up in your lounge, sucka.
Robert: You better calm down, or you're gonna be kicked out of the...
Schmidt: Good, I don't want to be in this lounge. I don't want to be in any club that you're a part of.
Cece: Okay, am I missing something?
Schmidt: I don't want to be in any lounge or club that you're a part of, sir. You dirty old bitch, for good measure. 'Cause I'm from Long Island, I'll take the railroad... LIRR.
Robert: You're embarrassing yourself.
Schmidt: New York, Long Island. Billy Joel. Cece, let's roll.
Cece: Okay.
Schmidt: [grabs champagne glass] Nassau County. Billy Joel, one more time. "Piano Man." "Goodnight Saigon." That's a sad one. Cry about that, you dirty old bitch.

Quote from Nick in Models

Nick: Uh, Schmidt, I got you something, man. Uh, they didn't have a Jewish star at the store, so I got you a regular cookie and I made the star myself by breaking off the pieces. It's meant to celebrate your Jewish heritage.
Schmidt: What is this?
Nick: A Jewish star... I just said that.
Winston: Hey, hey, Schmidt, just...
Schmidt: This... Is so terrible!
Nick: You gave me a cookie, I gave you a cookie. You gave me a cookie, gave you cookie. Gave me cookie, got you cookie! You gave me cookie, I got you cookie, man! Gave me cookie, got you cookie! We're even! We're even, Schmidt! I mean, what do you want from me? What do you want, Schmidt? I've been racking my brain all day. I walked around the grocery store, man, for 45 minutes. I didn't know what to get you. And then I was thinking I was gonna get you ramen like we used to eat, but you probably eat, like, fancy ramen now with, like, figs in it. I don't know, man. You love me too much, Schmidt, and you picked the wrong guy. And when are you gonna get that through that giant head of yours? I'm just gonna let you down, man.

Quote from Coach in Background Check

Winston: Good, you're all here. I just got a tip from my buddy Dugan. My academy background check is today and I need everybody's help.
Coach: Can't do it, bro. Going to the outlet mall today.
Winston: What?
Coach: I'm gonna look like a rich person from three years ago.
Winston: Can't... You can't go to the outlet mall today. Not today.
Schmidt: Yeah, you can't go to the outlet mall today.
Coach: Why?
Schmidt: It's a weekend. What are you, crazy? Unless you got a game plan.
Coach: I have a game plan. Grab a quick smoothie, power up. Do my leg stores first. Pants, socks, shoes. Hats and accessories last, then one sweet treat for the road. Most likely a cinnamon pretzel.