Schmidt Quote #770

Quote from Schmidt in Dice

Schmidt: We're celebrating... Me and you. Jess, you can have whatever you want on the menu. They got pizza, gelato, Tikka Masala. A raw bar. This place is doing too much. They can't be doing all this right.

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 ‘Dice’ Quotes

Quote from Jess

Schmidt: Dice is a dating app.
Jess: Dating app.
Schmidt: It's not for you.
Jess: What? Schmidty. Come on. I've Internet dated before. You send an e-mail, you get excited, you wait, you get an e-mail back.
Schmidt: You are just describing e-mailing.

Quote from Schmidt

Schmidt: And that is why... No matter how tricked out it is... You never get into a van.
Jess: "No van."
Schmidt: Okay, moving on. Classic warning signs. Now, last night, the crazy man said he needed to meet you near his house. What he was really saying was, "I expect tonight to end in sex."
Jess: Or maybe he doesn't like to be far from his pets.
Schmidt: Never date a man with pets. The only acceptable pet for a man to have is a saltwater fish.

Quote from Schmidt

Schmidt: The hell is that? What is that noise? [ringtone playing]
Nick: Your cellular technology.
Schmidt: I haven't gotten a non-text message in two years.