Cece: [giggles]
Schmidt: [chuckles]
Aly: Strange energy, guys.
Cece: [giggling continues]
Winston: We all had bubbly water. It made us giggle.
Schmidt: What's up? What's up? What's up?
Cece: Hi. Hello. Hi. Hello. Hello.

Jess: What up, boy in the hood? I thought you were gonna talk to Reagan.
Nick: I tried, but she's been on her phone all day like a grandpa who missed a package. Like... "Hel..." I'm not even gonna do it.

Reagan: Nick, I know that dumb publisher rejected your book. And, guess what, that publisher can go to hell. After you beat them to death with this baton that I weirdly still have. Because you don't need a publisher. You need a girlfriend who found a bookstore to sell Pepperwood.

Reagan: Uh, we just need 'em by tonight for his big reading.
Nick: Excuse me, did you say "big..." A big reading tonight?
Reagan: Yeah.
Jess: Well, that sounds... public.
Reagan: Well, I mean, he's got to do a reading to sell the book. Is that bad?
Nick: Is that bad? No, it's good. I get... I get to do a reading tonight in front of people.
Reagan: Yeah.
Nick: I get to read in front of a bunch of people who are gonna judge me. This is not bad. This is good. This is... [exhales]
Jess: See, this is another thing that Nick does when he's upset.
Reagan: At least he's not running.
[Nick knocks over furniture as he jumps up and heads for the door]

Nick: So you want me to read in front of people. You want me to read in front of living people... [voice squeaking] ...who are there to hear me read. And how will I... how will I even know what to read?
Reagan: You're gonna read your book.
Nick: I'll read my book. Fine. This is good. I'm fine. Don't worry about me. I'm fine. Oh, I feel like my heart
is pumping out scalding hot toilet water.
Reagan: See, a vivid description like that is gonna make the audience go wild.
Nick: Ah, the audience! I just forgot the audience, and now I remember the audience. I can't do this. I can't do it. I can't do it.

Jess: All right, here it is-- The Pepperwood Chronicles. I made a prototype.
Nick: Jess, that looks fantastic! That looks really good.
Reagan: How did you do that?
Jess: Oh, that's between me and my craft wagon.

Nick: I've made you! You're of me.
Jess: [to Reagan] When Nick gets like this, he needs to be occupied. Luckily, we have tons of books to make.
Nick: It's got my name in it.
Jess: Book time! Gather around, my little Guttenbergs!

Aly: This is really soothing.
Schmidt: You're a natural. [whispers to Cece] She's terrible. She's ruining our bedroom. It's like she's begrudgingly covering up graffiti.
Aly: Oh, there's a couple rough patches, but... that's what posters are for.

Cece: Just calm down, okay? We can fix it later, but we have to keep her in here for Winston.
Aly: Hey. Since we're doing this, I got to say, do not like the color of your bathroom.
Cece: You know what? Now that I think about it, me, either.
Schmidt: [quietly] What?!
Cece: Let's do that next.
Aly: Great.
Schmidt: It's special order robin's egg.
Aly: It's just paint!
Schmidt: It's not just paint.

Nick: Oh! Can I tell you something? I feel great right now. I feel very good. I feel very confident. I am ready for that read.
Jess: I think you're gonna crush it.
Nick: I think I'll read the whole book in about two minutes.
Jess: Yeah. Just get in there. You'll... [sputtering gibberish]
Nick: What?
Jess: What?
Nick: What?
Jess: What? [sputtering gibberish]
Nick: And people are gonna go nuts.
Jess: [sputtering gibberish] They're gonna be like, "Yes, yes, we love this book." And they're gonna just buy every copy, and then you're gonna have to, like, print more.
Nick: That's what's gonna happen.