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‘Operation: Bobcat’ Quotes

New Girl: Operation: Bobcat

616. Operation: Bobcat

Aired February 14, 2017

After Jess insists she's not sad spending Valentine's Day alone, she ends up organizing a romantic gesture for Winston and Aly. Meanwhile, Cece surprises Schmidt at work.

Quote from Schmidt

Cece: You know, it's still our bone-iversary.
Schmidt: I'm too stressed. Sex right now would be like picking a lock with a cold, wet French fry.

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Quote from Jess

Gordon Ramsay: So is it just you?
Jess: Yup.
Gordon Ramsay: You know I'm quite famous, and you didn't want anybody else to experience my food?
Jess: No. Just me. Just my day.
Gordon Ramsay: Are you sad 'cause you're on your own on Valentine's night?
Jess: Ugh! Don't you start with me, Gordon Ramsay! I'm having just a great time.
Gordon Ramsay: Liar! Sorry. Bad habit.
Jess: Just bring me the scallops, please.
Gordon Ramsay: Impatient. Mmm. Delicious. Scallops. Aren't... [dish shatters] ...for liars.

Quote from Jess

Jess: I'm mad that Nick just decided to be a great boyfriend. Where does all this effort come from? Reagan gets Mr. Cupid, and I got, like, some nudie card.
Gordon Ramsay: This bread is incredible. You taste the crust?
Jess: It's really good. And you know what else pisses me off? The fact that everyone thinks I'm sad. I mean, Winston canceled his engagement 'cause of it.
Gordon Ramsay: Then bloody do something about it! [Jess smashes her plate] Brilliant! Uh, just a reminder: I'm not required to clean up.
Jess: Winston can't throw away his dreams because of me!
Gordon Ramsay: Then don't let him.

Quote from Schmidt

Schmidt: How long have we been waiting for this elevator? What, are we in the lobby of Sterling Cooper?

Quote from Winston

Winston: Aly's not big on V-Day.
Jess: What?
Winston: Yeah. She says it makes her want to eat and successfully pass a nail. Yeah. I love her so much.
Jess: And aren't you gonna propose to her?
Winston: Yeah, I am, in due time. But right now, I'm only on phase six of my 21-step proposal plan. I'm months away. And in case you were wondering if I'm under budget, I am not. By thousands of dollars.

Quote from Nick

Nick: Hey, is there anything in there from Reagan? She's in Minnesota, and we're exchanging gifts.
Jess: Gonna do the old stand-by, like when we were dating?
[flashback:]
Jess: A nudie card with a $20 stapled to it?
Nick: I did so good.
[present:]
Nick: No, no, no, I'm-I'm putting a real effort this year. I feel five feet tall.
Schmidt: You're more than five feet right now.
Nick: I feel smaller because I'm humbled. I'm humbled by my actions of tenderness.

Quote from Schmidt

Schmidt: Can't believe that we're not spending Valentine's Day together.
Cece: I know. It sucks.
Schmidt: The first year that I haven't planned our bone-iversary.
Cece: I think I'd prefer to call it the anniversary of the first night we made love.
Schmidt: Either way, it's our first one as a married couple. You know, we miss this, the next thing you know, we're making love once a year next to a Thomas Kinkade painting after a hot dog dinner.

Quote from Jess

Jess: You said no?
Winston: I have a proposal plan, okay? A plan. You know what, and I would not be in this mess if it wasn't for you convincing me to do Valentine's Day in the first place! I'm sorry, I'm just-- You know what, I'll just find her at work, okay? And I'll-I'll tell her yes then. I'm used to compromising my dreams.
Jess: No, Winston, you deserve an amazing engagement. You're America's sweetheart, and you have to give Aly the proposal she deserves. And you have to do it today, 'cause she's probably freaking out right now.
Winston: It's a 21-step plan. I can't do it in one night.
Jess: You can't, but we can.
Winston: Jess, I can't make you do that. I mean, you had a whole day planned. I mean, it's a day I maintain was rooted in sadness.
Jess: You say I'm sad one more time, and I'm gonna take you to San Francisco, and we're gonna eat a little sourdough, maybe a little crab, and then I'm gonna throw you off the Golden Gate Bridge! Do you understand?
Winston: Yes, ma'am.
Jess: Now, you go tell that son of a bitch cat of yours that he's gonna get a new mommy, 'cause we're gonna propose tonight!

Quote from Winston

Jess: Yeah. Uh, okay, Malibu cactus picnic. Did that. Erotic skywriting. That's a cut.
Winston: Mm. See, I'm not sure if you understood...
Jess: I know what erotic skywriting is.
Winston: It's in the sky.
Jess: Special performance by the L.A. Children's Choir?
Winston: They're gonna come out all cute and small, singing "Alison."
Jess: We're cutting.
Winston: Huh?
Jess: Okay, we can't get your ring in Atlanta.
Winston: It's the most affordable big city in America, so...
Jess: Well, I have a local ring guy, so it's Cut-lanta.

Quote from Winston

Jess: Operation Bobcat? Let's call that "Operation Cut Cat."
Winston: No, no, no, no.
Jess: Oh, I should have said "Bob Cut." Next time.
Winston: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Move your hand. Don't rip that. When Aly and I were first partners, we got
called to break up a drug deal in a bus station bathroom. When we got there, wasn't nobody in there. Just a bobcat. Like, a bobcat running around. I shrieked. Of course, I was afraid for my life. But Aly-- she, she just laughed. [chuckles] Laughed and laughed and laughed. And, you know, it was that moment that made me realize I wanted to make her laugh for the rest of her life. And so, the plan was to recreate that moment. So...
Jess: You already have a bobcat costume, don't you?
Winston: I'm an oddball romantic.
Jess: You bought a bobcat costume before you got a ring? You really toe the line between sweetness and insanity.
Winston: That's the whole thing.

Quote from Schmidt

Schmidt: Cece, what the hell are you doing in here?
Cece: Surprise! [pictures clattering]
Schmidt: Cece, I love where your head's at.
Cece: Mm-hmm.
Schmidt: And I love where your body is at even more, but I-I can't.
Cece: What if I told you that I have the Star of David hidden somewhere on my body, and you have to find it?
Schmidt: Okay. Okay. All right, let's do it. But we got to do it really quick. I'm gonna stay dressed and just poke out like a cuckoo clock.

Quote from Nick

Nick: Sorry I'm late. There was a TV crew by the Staples Center, so I had to jump around behind the guy to get on TV, but the good news, I got on TV, so I think I'm gonna be on the news.

Quote from Nick

Schmidt: What do you got?
Nick: Here, I got this for you, man. You got some pants. Got a suit jacket.
Schmidt: You brought that suit?! It's a 62 short. I wore that to college graduation.
Nick: It was in your closet!
Schmidt: As motivation!
Nick: Here you go, Cece. It's a beautiful dress.
Cece: My wedding dress?!
Nick: Ah, it's your wedding dress? I knew it looked familiar.
Cece: 'Cause you were at the wedding!
Schmidt: You're a buffoon idiot.

Quote from Jess

Gordon Ramsay: Why are you sad?
Jess: I'm not sad.
Gordon Ramsay: Then what are you?
Jess: I'm mad!
Gordon Ramsay: There it is.

Quote from Jess

Winston: [answers the phone] Hey, Jess, what's up?
Jess: Winston, I'm not sad. I'm mad!
Gordon Ramsay: [eating his food] Bloody brilliant.
Winston: Okay. Cool. Thanks for the call.
Jess: I'm not letting you throw away your dreams, okay? You're proposing in that bus station bathroom, and I am going to help you. I'll meet you there in one hour, and I'm bringing the bobcat suit.
Gordon Ramsay: Bobcat suit?

Quote from Nick

Cece: Okay, she's not looking. Come on, let's go. We can go now, we can go.
Schmidt: No, don't move. If we move, we-- I'm-I'm fired.
Nick: She's not gonna get off this roof. I know how to handle this.
Schmidt: Are you out of your mind? You're just gonna materialize out of thin air on a rooftop?
Nick: Easy. I work here. I'm a window washer, and I finally got to the top floor. You don't like that one? How about this one? I'm a traffic guy, and I fell out of the news chopper.
Schmidt: What are you talking about?
Nick: All these work perfectly. I'll just pick my favorite on the way over.
Schmidt: Sit down, you nincompoop.

Quote from Winston

Winston: Okay. Yeah. It cleans up pretty nice. And this ring is perfect. How did you get Trevlo to come down on the price?
Jess: I don't think it's a legitimate business, and that's the real answer. Anyway, I got it done. [Winston chuckles]
Jess: Okay. I called the station, they're sending Aly down on a public disturbance call. Nice.
Winston: I'm nervous, but, you know, I'm really glad we are doing this, you know. If I didn't propose in a public bathroom while wearing a bobcat costume, I would have regretted it for the rest of my life.

Quote from Winston

Jess: Um, Aly, um, look at Winston, but listen to me. Um, fellas!
Choir: [sing] Alison...
Aly: What the hell?
Jess: Winston wanted a kids choir, but this is all we could get on such short notice. They're called Protect and Swerve.
Choir: Oh, Alison My aim is true...
Jess: "Aly, I'm in love with you. I love your face, your mind and your butt." Good opening, good opening. "As a young black man, I never thought I'd feel safe with a police officer. When I met you, I threw away all my shoes,
'cause they made me feel like I was walking on air."
Choir: I'm not gonna get too sentimental Like those other sticky valentines Ooh-ooh...
Jess: "You're the most amazing woman I've ever met, and I have something to ask you. But first, I'm gonna describe in vivid detail our first sexual encounter."
Aly: Oh, don't do that.
Jess: Okay, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not gonna read...
Winston: You know what we did.
Jess: Yeah. It's very long. Here we go, okay. Um, "I have a complicated relationship with God." No.

Quote from Winston

Jess: Here we go, okay. Um... "I don't think anyone on Earth gets to feel as proud [voice breaks] as I do just to call you my partner."That really got me. [sniffles] [crying] "And now I want to ask you to be my partner for the rest of my life."
Aly: You want to what-- You want-- Now you want to what?
Jess: I'm not sad! These are happy tears.
Winston: Jess, I got this.
Aly: What was that last-- Wh-What did she say?
Winston: [groans] Aly, the only reason I said no earlier is because I needed to show you how much I wanted to say yes. I want you to be my partner for the rest of my life.
Choir: Oh, Alison...
Winston: Officer Nelson... [Aly gasps] ...will you marry me?
Aly: Of course I will, Officer Bishop.
Choir: My aim is true...


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