Adrian Monk: Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. It's spreading. It's spreading. Here it comes. I can feel it, I can feel, I can feel it.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Whoa, I did not think it was possible for you to get sick. Well, that's one plucky little microbe. Yeah, for a germ, you gotta be, like, climbing mount Everest.
Adrian Monk: That's not funny. [sneezes on Stottlemeyer's hand]
Captain Stottlemeyer: Hey, look who's here. Deputy commissioner. [shakes his hand]

Julie Teeger: Mr. Monk, I bought this for you. Open it. It has a musical chip in it.
Adrian Monk: Thanks. But, uh, I really don't like the Rock 'n' Roll music.
Julie Teeger: Mr. Monk, it's not Rock 'n' Roll. It's Polly Wolly Doodle. It has a 10-year battery. How about I put it over here, so then you can see it?

Adrian Monk: No, you, you can't just leave me here.
Natalie: No, you're gonna be okay. Julie will be here.
Adrian Monk: But what if I have to blow my nose again?
Natalie: I showed her how to do the bags. I have my phone. I will be right back. Good luck, guys. [exits]
Adrian Monk: Julie, there's a pad in that second drawer. Can you get the pad and pen? Write down everything I say.
Julie Teeger: Is it a letter?
Adrian Monk: No, it's not exactly a letter. It's what we grownups call a living will.

Natalie: Lieutenant, the captain said you would fill me in.
Lieutenant Disher: Yeah, well, we don't know much. She owns a beach house. We're sending another forensics team down there now.
Natalie: Not the judge, the other case. Alvarez.
Lieutenant Disher: Who?
Natalie: Julio Alvarez.
Lieutenant Disher: You didn't let me finish. Who-lio Alvarez?

Captain Stottlemeyer: Hello again. Um, this is a little embarrassing, but I'm gonna have to ask for my tie back.
John DeLancy: You gave it to me.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Well, look, if you're gonna wear such a nice tie, you gotta wear it straight. [pulls the tie] You don't wear a nice tie like that crooked. Okay now, where were we? Yeah, we were talking about Jillian Garr.
John DeLancy: She cost me $2.5 million. I admit it. I lost my temper.
Lieutenant Disher: You rammed her car.
John DeLancy: I wasn't trying to hurt anybody. I was pissed off. You know, you boys are asking the wrong question here. You should be asking, "Why didn't she press charges?"
Captain Stottlemeyer: Okay, why didn't she press charges?
John DeLancy: Because she wasn't alone. There was a man with her in the car. I saw them kissing. When I hit her, he got out and ran.
Lieutenant Disher: He didn't want to be seen.
Captain Stottlemeyer: He was married. She was seeing a married guy.
John DeLancy: Good guess. Now, could you find my waiter? I'm going to need another plate.

Natalie: Eat your soup.
Adrian Monk: Oh. I see letters.
Natalie: Yeah, it's alphabet soup.
Adrian Monk: "A."
Natalie: You don't have to eat it in order.
Natalie: Where's Julie's card?
Adrian Monk: I put it in the recycle bin. They just collected it.
Natalie: Julie is so proud of that card. What am I supposed to tell her?
Adrian Monk: Tell her that recycling is important. And that together, we're saving the planet. "B."

Natalie: [on the phone] Mr. Monk, I found the guy who delivered Julie's pizza. It's definitely him. His name is Reggie Dennison.
Adrian Monk: Uh, Natalie, I've been calling you.
Natalie: I know. I didn't answer. I knew you'd try to talk me out of this.
Adrian Monk: Out of what?
Natalie: I'm in his house.
Adrian Monk: You're in his house?
Natalie: He put something in his car. I couldn't make it out. And then he drove off.
Adrian Monk: You're in his house?
Natalie: I didn't know what else to do. No one was listening to me.
Adrian Monk: Oh, Natalie, you're in his house? Listen. Get outta there. And... Can you pick up some cough drops on your way back? But get outta there! Don't forget the cough drops.

Adrian Monk: [on the phone] Is, is, is there blood?
Natalie: Um, no. That's weird. There's no shower curtain.
Adrian Monk: Is there a light switch on the wall?
Natalie: Yes.
Adrian Monk: Is it on or off?
Natalie: It's off.
Adrian Monk: Well, switch it on. Be careful. Use a wipe or something.
Natalie: It's blood.
Adrian Monk: Oh, yeah, they always forget the light switch. [coughs]

Natalie: What about the pizza box?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Well, if we could find the pizza box, and it came from Monk's house, and it has his fingerprints on it, well then, it's a slam dunk.
Lieutenant Disher: We're not gonna find it. Forget it. I talked to the manager. I mean, they don't keep any records. They could've dumped it anywhere. I mean, look at this place. There's two more warehouses, and there's more outside.
Adrian Monk: Ssh.
Captain Stottlemeyer: What?
Adrian Monk: Shhh, everybody. Polly Wolly Doodle.
Natalie: Oh, my God, it's Julie's card. It has a musical chip.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Wait, wait, wait. Don't open it. Wait for forensics.
Natalie: You got outta bed? You took a taxi? In your bathrobe. [chuckles] Mitch was right. The great ones play hurt.

Adrian Monk: Excuse me, doctor. Can I talk to you?
Criminalist: Can it wait? I just found an eyelash. It might belong to the killer.
Adrian Monk: Please, it's very important.
Criminalist: I'll be right with you.
Adrian Monk: Sir, it really can't wait.
Criminalist: What is it?
Adrian Monk: Do I feel warm to you?