Captain Stottlemeyer Quote #186
Quote from Captain Stottlemeyer in Mr. Monk Stays in Bed
Captain Stottlemeyer: Hello again. Um, this is a little embarrassing, but I'm gonna have to ask for my tie back.
John DeLancy: You gave it to me.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Well, look, if you're gonna wear such a nice tie, you gotta wear it straight. [pulls the tie] You don't wear a nice tie like that crooked. Okay now, where were we? Yeah, we were talking about Jillian Garr.
John DeLancy: She cost me $2.5 million. I admit it. I lost my temper.
Lieutenant Disher: You rammed her car.
John DeLancy: I wasn't trying to hurt anybody. I was pissed off. You know, you boys are asking the wrong question here. You should be asking, "Why didn't she press charges?"
Captain Stottlemeyer: Okay, why didn't she press charges?
John DeLancy: Because she wasn't alone. There was a man with her in the car. I saw them kissing. When I hit her, he got out and ran.
Lieutenant Disher: He didn't want to be seen.
Captain Stottlemeyer: He was married. She was seeing a married guy.
John DeLancy: Good guess. Now, could you find my waiter? I'm going to need another plate.
‘Mr. Monk Stays in Bed’ Quotes
Quote from Lieutenant Disher
Lieutenant Disher: Did you hear anything? I mean, anybody yelling or screaming for help?
Natalie: Yeah, me. Does it ever get to you? Seeing people dead?
Lieutenant Disher: Yeah, it did for a while. But I got used to it.
Natalie: That must be awful. Getting used to it.
Lieutenant Disher: You know, it was pretty awful. But I got used to it. It's the worst part, you know. Getting used to it. Something you never really get used to.
Quote from Adrian Monk
Adrian Monk: It's not straight.
Natalie: Ha! The bubble's right in the middle.
Adrian Monk: The level's broken.
Natalie: The level is not broken, Mr. Monk. It can't be broken. It's a bubble on a stick. You have two levels?
Adrian Monk: I use this level to check the other levels. It's my level-checking level.
Julie Teeger: How do you know that one's not broken?
Adrian Monk: That's a good question. I take my level-checking level to the hardware store twice a year to have it recalibrated.
Quote from Adrian Monk
Adrian Monk: Could you turn this? Thank you. Well, that's good.
Captain Stottlemeyer: What is this thing?
Adrian Monk: It's a humidifier.
Captain Stottlemeyer: What's that one?
Adrian Monk: It's a dehumidifier.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Well, don't they cancel each other out?
Adrian Monk: Exactly.