Natalie: So I can't believe I'm about to say this but Mom was right. She's great. You don't deserve her.
Jonathan Davenport: I don't. We have 87 things in common. Last night, we actually made a list.
Natalie: Okay, stop it.
Jonathan Davenport: It's crazy.
Adrian Monk: And she doesn't have any family at all? Brothers, sisters?
Jonathan Davenport: No, she had an uncle, but he was on that Pan Am flight to Madrid with her parents.
Adrian Monk: It was a Pan Am flight?
Jonathan Davenport: Yeah. God, she's been through so much. But it's made her stronger. And it's rubbing off. I feel stronger too. Soon I'll be strong like you.
Natalie: Oh, right.
Jonathan Davenport: She's probably looking for me, so I'm gonna go. But I'll see you tomorrow. Gulp.
Natalie: [off Monk's look] What?
Adrian Monk: Nothing.
Natalie: What is it?
Adrian Monk: Well, she, she said her parents died in 1995. Pan Am went out of business in '91.
Natalie: So? She got a little mixed up.
Adrian Monk: Yeah.

Adrian Monk: Hey, you better come too.
Stripper Cop: Me?
Adrian Monk: There's a body downstairs. Looks like a 187.
Stripper Cop: A 187?
Adrian Monk: Yeah. Lieutenant Bristo's down there, and I think he wants you down there too. Let's go.
Stripper Cop: Okay.
Adrian Monk: This way.
Stripper Cop: I'm coming.
Adrian Monk: What, what's that?
Stripper Cop: My boom box.
Adrian Monk: Boom box. Okay. Fine. Let's just go. You look like you work out a little bit.
Stripper Cop: I try.
Adrian Monk: I'm looking into pilates.

Captain Stottlemeyer: Hey, Monk.
Adrian Monk: Who is he?
Lieutenant Bristo: So far, he's John Doe. We figure his wallet's still in the mud bath.
Captain Stottlemeyer: I'm willing to bet that that mud is the same mud that you found outside in the car.
Natalie: Was he the driver?
Captain Stottlemeyer: No. Not likely. According to the coroner, this guy died at least 36 hours ago.
Adrian Monk: Captain, he's the wedding photographer. The one that's been missing.
Lieutenant Bristo: How do you know that?
Adrian Monk: The discoloration on his fingertips. It's caused by developer fluid. I've seen it on other photographers.
Lieutenant Bristo: Glad he's on our team.

Natalie: What's he doing here?
Adrian Monk: Oh, that's Hondo. He's with me. Figure we might need a little crowd control.
Natalie: Can I talk to you for a sec?
Natalie: Mr. Monk, he's not a real cop. He's a stripper.
Adrian Monk: I don't think so.
Natalie: Didn't you see his badge? It said, "Officer Feel Good."
Captain Stottlemeyer: Monk, the guy's got dollar bills sticking out of his belt.
Adrian Monk: I thought he lost his wallet. Hold on a sec. Now wait a minute. Oh, it's on my shoe. Natalie. [Monk trips and lowers his leg into the mud bath] Ah, no, no! Wipe. Wipe! No, I need something bigger! [The stripper cop removes his shirt and throws it to Monk] You may be right about him.

Peggy Davenport: It's, it's not her. Her hair is different.
Natalie: Mom, she dyed her hair blond and cut it.
Peggy Davenport: It's not her. This is the happiest day of his life. Why are you doing this to your brother?
Natalie: I'm doing this for Jonathan. Mom, this explains everything. Why she has no family, why she has no friends.
Peggy Davenport: Because her best friend is sick and her parents happen to be dead.
Natalie: Did you read this article? She killed her first husband for his money. She might be planning to do it again.
Peggy Davenport: No, no. No, no, no. Cancel, cancel. I don't believe it.
Adrian Monk: Mrs. Davenport, Randy Disher was the investigating officer 6 years ago. He could identify Theresa. That's why she tried to run him down when he first got here.
Peggy Davenport: I'm sorry. But that is simply preposterous.
Natalie: Yesterday, she called him Sergeant Disher. He was a sergeant when she knew him 6 years ago.

Peggy Davenport: We both know what this is about. This is not about Theresa and some stupid photograph that somebody found. This is about you and me.
Natalie: Oh, Mom, please stop.
Peggy Davenport: Yes. Yes. You and me and Mitch. And the fact that you think that I treated him badly...
Natalie: Oh, this is...
Peggy Davenport: And I never put his picture on the piano as if that meant anything. I really don't see how you can work with that man or how you can take anything he says seriously.

Theresa Scott: Should I be insulted?
Adrian Monk: About what?
Theresa Scott: The napkins. You afraid to touch me, Mr. Monk?
Adrian Monk: Why would I be afraid of you? I'm not marrying you. [Theresa chuckles] It's a beautiful dress.
Theresa Scott: Well, thank you.
Adrian Monk: And it still fits.
Theresa Scott: What do you mean?
Adrian Monk: You wore the same dress in Philadelphia 6 years ago. At the time, you were using the name Darlene Coolidge. I saw the wedding pictures, the ones that Frank Ruddle took.
Theresa Scott: Who?
Adrian Monk: Frank Ruddle. The wedding photographer who made the fatal mistake of recognizing you.
Theresa Scott: Mr. Monk, I'm not who or what you think I am. I am denying it unequivocally. However, if you were right, and I was such a woman, the last thing you'd wanna do is get in my way.
Adrian Monk: Are you threatening me? How do you plan to do it? How are you going to kill him?
Theresa Scott: The song's over, Mr. Monk.

Adrian Monk: Anyway, I, I'd like to thank all of you for coming. And I think I speak on behalf of Bobby and Peggy.
Peggy Davenport: No, uh, no, actually, you're not.
Adrian Monk: You... And, um, Jonathan and, and Theresa, I, I, uh I, I know you want to take a, a minute now and just say thank you to our wonderful waiters and waitresses.
Natalie: Yes, absolutely.

Adrian Monk: You know who's here, though, is, uh, Julie Teeger. Come up here, Julie. Come on up here, please. Julie, you know, is, uh, of course, Jonathan's niece. Come, come, come on. She has, uh, had to, uh, memorize a poem for, for school.
Theresa Scott: [to Natalie] We're gonna go. We're gonna go.
Adrian Monk: And she would like to recite it for you now in honor of Jonathan and Theresa. Julie Teeger. Come on, Julie, come on girl.
Theresa Scott: [to Natalie] Okay, bye.
Julie Teeger: Father William by Lewis Carroll. "You're old, Father William," the young man said. "And your hair has become very white."
"And yet you incessantly stand on your head." "Do you think, at your age, this is right?" [applause]
Adrian Monk: "Do you think, at your age, this is right?" That always gets me.

Adrian Monk: When I was just a lad...
Theresa Scott: We're gonna go.
Natalie: [to Julie] Good job, good job.
Adrian Monk: Well, not a lad. You know, more of a young fella. You know, adolescent. A teenager, really.