Captain Stottlemeyer: Extra Large was your biggest star, your cash cow. But he left your label and started recording for Fresh P- Fresh Produce?
Lieutenant Disher: Fresh Rhymes.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Fresh Rhymes Records. You couldn't stand that, could you, Russell?
Murderuss: My name is Murderuss.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Well, you'll always be Russell to me.Little Russell Kroy from Millburn Avenue. Flushing dime bags down the toilet every time I came knockin'. Does this one belong to you? It's one of your trademarks, isn't it? It's like those Special Edition Ponys you're wearing? It'd make an excellent timing device.
Captain Stottlemeyer: I ain't no bomb maker. Well, you don't have to be a bomb maker. Any Boy Scout could make this. What you do is you take one wire and you connect it to the hour hand, and the other wire goes to the face. Tick, tick, tick, tick. 9:00 kaboom.
Murderuss: Guess what.
Captain Stottlemeyer: What?
Murderuss: I ain't a Boy Scout either.
Captain Stottlemeyer: No kiddin'.

Captain Stottlemeyer: You got a problem, Russell. The limo driver was with the car all night long. He probably saw whoever planted this. He's gonna pull through, and when he does, he's gonna tell me what he saw.
Murderuss: Well, he didn't see me. I'm being set up. I'm innocent. All you gotta d is ask Adrian Monk. Ain't he one of y'all? I thought he was up here. He'll tell you. He know what's happening. I been set up, and this is a bunch of bull, man. I can't believe this.

Natalie: Well, I mean I don't think it was him.
Adrian Monk: Of course it was him. Didn't you hear the captain? There's amountain of evidence. He is so so, so guilty. He is what we call very guilty.
Natalie: Mr. Monk, you're just so nervous, you're not thinking straight. If he did it, why did he hire you? You're the best detective in California.
Adrian Monk: It was probably his lawyer's idea. It's just PR to make it look good.
Natalie: I don't think so. I think he's frightened. He's like you in a way. I think deep, deep down he's just this frightened little boy.
Adrian Monk: A- a-and this is based on what?
Natalie: I have a hunch.
Adrian Monk: Okay.
Natalie: You get hunches all the time. People don't laugh at you.
Adrian Monk: People laugh at me. Plenty.
Natalie: But not about that. The captain gets hunches. Why can't I have a hunch?

Adrian Monk: Where were you when you first heard that Extra Large had been murdered?
Denny Hodges: Where was I? If I live to be a hundred, I'll never forget it. I was in my hotel room with Woody. We were having breakfast.
Woody Mitchum: We weren't having breakfast. He was having breakfast.
Denny Hodges: Are you gonna do this here?
Woody Mitchum: Yeah, every Sunday we have breakfast together to figure out what we're gonna do with the money, where it's all going. Last Sunday morning, I had to take my limo uptown.
Denny Hodges: I forgot, okay? I forgot.
Woody Mitchum: I show up. He's halfway through with his eggs Benedict. There's not even a place setting for me.
Denny Hodges: Okay, I forgot. I'm sorry I forgot to order you room service.
Woody Mitchum: After two years, he forgets. You just-
Denny Hodges: The worst day of our lives, okay? I lost my best friend. And he's still bitching about breakfast.

Young Rapper: Yeah, man, I'm still working on these lyrics. Tell me what you like better, though. Club hoppin game shoppin I'm trying to holler a little, ma, her booty poppin'. Poppin' or bangin'?
Producer: I like bangin'. What do you think?
Denny Hodges: I like bangin.
Natalie: Poppin.
Woody Mitchum: Yeah, definitely poppin.
Young Rapper: Okay, so it's 2 to 2. Hey, homey, what about you?
Adrian Monk: Me? Uh, I'm sorry
Young Rapper: Poppin' or bangin'?
Adrian Monk: Poppin' or bangin'. Poppin' or bangin'? First off, thank you for asking. Um, poppin'. What does poppin' mean again?
Young Rapper: Poppin' is just like, you know, really crackin'. You feel me? Like, just Like when the booty is just like... Ah! You feel me?
Adrian Monk: I feel you. Uh, and what does poppin' mean again?
Young Rapper: I just told you, it's like really crackin'.
Natalie: They both mean good, Mr. Monk.
Adrian Monk: Yeah, poppin' or bangin'. Wow. Pressure. Uh I- I think it'd be a lot easier if I actually met the girl. Poppin', bangin. I'm gonna have to go with bangin'. Nah, no. Wait. Um, this is hard, because they're both so evocative. Is it poppin' or boppin'?
Producer: Let's just take a break.
Young Rapper: Yeah. How long a break?
Producer: I don't know. How long you think he'll be staying?
Adrian Monk: Was it crackin'? Is it crackin' or cracklin'?

Denny Hodges: Mr. Monk, Mr. Monk. Listen, um, you told me to call you if I remembered anything. Well, I was thinking about it, and Saturday night, the night before it happened, I was leaving my office. It's, like, 7:00 exactly. I remember, cause I was late for a meeting. I looked at my watch.
Adrian Monk: And...?
Denny Hodges: I saw somebody. Yeah he was hanging out near the garage where the limo was parked. And, you know I thought it was weird. Couldn't figure out why he was hanging out around there.
Natalie: Well, who was it?
Adrian Monk: It's okay, it's okay. Nobody'll know it came from you.
Denny Hodges: Well, it was dark. So, you know, uh couldn't really see his face. But he was tall. 6' 2", 6' 4".
Adrian Monk: 6' 4". My God! Murderuss.
Denny Hodges: I can't swear to that. I didn't want to say-
Adrian Monk: You just did.
Denny Hodges: I had to say something. Should I call the cops?
Adrian Monk: [nods] Yeah.
Denny Hodges: All right, uh I'll call them right away. But it was nice to meet you guys, and good luck.

Captain Stottlemeyer: Where's Natalie?
Adrian Monk: She went home. She's mad at me. Something about how I never listen or...
Captain Stottlemeyer: I understand you bought her a big bunch of flowers for Secretaries' Day? Big mistake.
Adrian Monk: They were on sale.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Monk, that woman would crawl through hell for you. She is not your secretary.
Adrian Monk: I know. They were on sale.

Captain Stottlemeyer: So you gonna come up? We have a fresh crime scene upstairs.
Adrian Monk: Yeah, I'll be right up.
Captain Stottlemeyer: You're not gonna like it. We found a footprint on the windowsill.
Adrian Monk: Let me guess. Special Edition shoe.
Captain Stottlemeyer: The only kind your client Murderuss ever wears. The murder weapon.
Adrian Monk: Yeah, let me guess. White gold.
Captain Stottlemeyer: We found it out back in the hazardous waste bin.
Adrian Monk: [drops baggie] Of course! He knew I would never look out there.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Grand jury's meeting tomorrow. We're gonna indict him on Thursday and arrest him on Friday.
Adrian Monk: He is gonna blame me. I gotta get out of that contract.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Then get out of that contract.
Adrian Monk: Will you- Will you- Will you-
Captain Stottlemeyer: Yes, Monk, I will go with you.

Captain Stottlemeyer: Apologize, but don't cry.
Adrian Monk: Don't cry?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Just tell him the truth. There's too much evidence against him. You're not a miracle worker. Don't do that.
Adrian Monk: What?
Captain Stottlemeyer: This. It's a gang sign. Don't do this or this or this. They're all gang signs.
Adrian Monk: I'll keep my hands in my pockets.
Captain Stottlemeyer: No, don't do that. He'll think you're carrying. He'll shoot us here on the spot.
Adrian Monk: [raises hands] How how 'bout this?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Yeah, do that.

Adrian Monk: Killa. How are ya? He's a little shy. Hey, homely. How how's it going?
Captain Stottlemeyer: He means homey. And he doesn't even mean that. Um, we'd like to talk to Russell.
Snake da Assassin: What's wrong with your hands?
Adrian Monk: Just keepin' it real.