Murderuss: Monk, what it do, baby?
Adrian Monk: Murderuss. Snake. Hello.
Murderuss: [playing video game] I be right with you, soon as I pass this level.
Adrian Monk: Which one are you?
Murderuss: I'm the one trying to kill that fool.
Adrian Monk: Why?
Snake da Assassin: It's called gang-banging. Them two are partners. Then the white dude got scared and tried to back out.
Murderuss: I love this game!
Character: [on game] You gave me your word.
Murderuss: You wanna play?
Adrian Monk: I feel like I just did.

Murderuss: Heard about that limo driver. I suppose I'm gonna get blamed for that one, too, huh?
Adrian Monk: He was strangled with a chain, you know, white gold.
Murderuss: Like this? It's quite obvious, somebody trying to set me up. I'm just glad you in my corner, Monk.
Adrian Monk: About that, um I'm, uh, I'm afraid I have some bad news. Maybe we could just turn this off. No. Okay, first off, thank you for thinking of me. I will always cherish the time we we've had together. And that goes for you, too, Killa. And you, Mr. Assassin. I think I'll miss you most of all.
Murderuss: Are you goin' somewhere?
Adrian Monk: I have to respectfully return your money.
Snake da Assassin: You're backing out?
Adrian Monk: I'm not dissing you. This this is not a diss.
Murderuss: Look, man, if you back out right now, I'm in deep dookie, mookie. And that's church. Fershizzle my dizzle. You know what I'm sayin'?
Adrian Monk: Um, no. Not not not so much. I wish I did.

Adrian Monk: I'm the new head of security.
Captain Stottlemeyer: And how did that happen?

Natalie: You know what, you obviously don't care what I think, and you obviously never will, but I don't get it.
Why isn't somebody checking out that guy Denny Hodges?
Adrian Monk: I told you, there's no motive. Extra Large was his biggest star.
Natalie: It's just weird, okay? The way he happened to notice Murderuss near that garage at 7:00. It's just too convenient.
Adrian Monk: He did say 7:00, didn't he?
Natalie: Yes.
Adrian Monk: He was sure about that. He said he checked his watch. [picks up clock] Natalie.
Natalie: What?
Adrian Monk: Hodges had to be lying. But why, why, why would he do this? I've got it. I've got it. Hodges did it. He's the guy. Which means...
Natalie: It wasn't Murderuss!
Adrian Monk: It wasn't Murderuss! Can you believe it? He's innocent!
Natalie: Who would have thought?
Adrian Monk: Exactly! He didn't do it! He's innocent. He's an innocent, innocent, innocent man! This is the best Secretaries' Day ever! I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

Lieutenant Disher: 'Sup?
Murderuss: Hey, homey. You a star yet?
Lieutenant Disher: No.
Murderuss: Captain, I heard you about to make a real big bust tonight. And you know I wouldn't miss this for nothing in the world.
Captain Stottlemeyer: That's right, Russell. We're just waiting for the concert to end.
Murderuss: Wasn't me, was it?
Captain Stottlemeyer: I do apologize.
Murderuss: Hey, man. It's all right. It's all good. And you thought I did it, too, huh?
Adrian Monk: I admit it. For a while. I should have listened to Natalie.
Murderuss: Good advice. You should write that down so you won't forget that.
Adrian Monk: [to Natalie] Would you write that down, please?
Natalie: Sure.
Murderuss: Now, tell me this, Monk. I wanna know. How did you solve the case? I want all the details from start to finish.
Adrian Monk: Here's what happened.

Denny Hodges: You know, I, uh, I feel like I lost a brother on Sunday morning. I do. And I know that y'all, you know, feel the same way. You know? We know that the police have a suspect. Y'all know who I'm talking about.
Crowd: [chant] Murderuss!
Denny Hodges: I ain't gotta say his name. Yeah, you know what? But let's just be cool. 'Cause if Large was here, Large would tell us to what? He'd say just chill out. So we gonna chill out. We gonna let the cops do they job for once. Speak of the devil. [to Murderuss] You got a lotta nerve.I will give you that. [crowd boos] You know what? Let's just calm down. Somebody call the authorities. Let them know that we have a murder in the house.
Adrian Monk: Word. Word. Word. Everybody, word. People, brothers, let me give you the 411. That means information. Murderuss didn't kill anybody. Denny Hodges wanted us, wanted everyone to think that Murderuss planted that bomb. Hodges said he saw Murderuss in the parking lot at 7:00 PM, but that's impossible. The timing device was a 12-hour clock like this. But the bomb went off after 13 hours.
Denny Hodges: [laughs] One second, one second. Let let me get this straight. Are you accusing me? Are you accusing me? This man was family to me, all right? We was gonna make each other rich. Why would I hurt him?
Adrian Monk: That's what I couldn't figure out the motive. But then I realized... [crowd boos]
Denny Hodges: Off the stage, man!
Adrian Monk: Then I realized... Here's what happened.
Denny Hodges: The guy is a joke. A joke!
Adrian Monk: Word. Here's what happened. Word. Word. Everyone, word.

Captain Stottlemeyer: Hello.
Denny Hodges: You can't prove any of this.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Au contraire. That's a search warrant. We just came from your house, Denny. We found your little bomb making workshop in the basement. Lieutenant, take him down.
[When the Captain looks back, Woody is stood next to him, not Disher. Stottlemeyer notices Disher up on the stage]
Lieutenant Disher: If you enjoyed that, check out the randydisherproject.com
Captain Stottlemeyer: Randy!
Lieutenant Disher: Peace out, y'all!

Murderuss: Hey, yo, Monk. Monk, let me holler at you. Check it out, man. I wanted to thank you again personally, man. I appreciate what you done for me, and, um, you had me nervous there for a minute.
Adrian Monk: I couldn't have done it without my associate. Assistant/underling. Partner person.
Murderuss: Don't matter what you call her, man. She's a beautiful woman. You lucky to have somebody like that on your team. Check it out, dog. I got this big, big, big tour comin' up. 27 cities. Big tour buses, you know what I'm saying. Big bright lights. I was wondering if you wanted to roll and be my bodyguard/assistant.
Adrian Monk: Wow! I... Thank you. But I can't. I'm just so busy. Wish I could. Damn! That sounds like fun.
Murderuss: It's cool. Don't even trip. I get it. But if you change your mind, you gimme a holler. It's cool. I gotta skedaddle on my saddle. I'll holler at you. Be sweet, baby.
Natalie: Travel safe.
Adrian Monk: Truth to power.

Adrian Monk: Did he just ask me to go on tour with him?
Natalie: Yes, he did.
Adrian Monk: What did I say?
Natalie: You said no.
Adrian Monk: Thank God. You sure?
Natalie: Yeah, I was right there.
Adrian Monk: Was he mad?
Natalie: No. Said it was cool.
Adrian Monk: What did I say?
Natalie: Truth to power.
Adrian Monk: What does that mean?
Natalie: I don't know.