‘Chirp’
Season 2, Episode 7 - Aired November 3, 2010
With Claire and Haley sick in bed, Phil scours the house looking for a malfunctioning smoke detector. Manny is upset when Jay fires an employee following an accident. Meanwhile, Mitchell is unhappy when Cameron gets Lily a role in a TV commercial.
Quote from Phil
Claire: Hey, did you finish my ladyfingers?
Phil: Not yet.
Claire: Did you pick up my phone?
Phil: Not yet.
Claire: Is that the smoke detector? I thought you fixed that.
Phil: Boy, you're really starting to sound like your old self.
Quote from Luke
Phil: Hey, buddy. How are you? What are you doing?
Luke: Keeping the germs off me.
Phil: You care about germs? I've seen you kiss a pigeon on the mouth.
Luke: My class is going to Disneyland in two days. I can't get Mom's cold.
Phil: Oh. Good plan. I remember this. My dad bought it during the Cuban Missile Crisis. I never got a turn in that. You think later I could-
Luke: Yeah, maybe.
Quote from Luke
Luke: What are you doing home in the afternoon?
Phil: Oh, no big deal. I just had a couple of showings fall through.
Luke: Again?
Phil: You know what I always say.
Luke: Sure do. "Can't get back on that horse unless you fall off."
Quote from Manny
Manny: Fine. Then under the circumstances, we have nothing further to talk about. These will be my last words to you.
Jay: Knock, knock.
Manny: Who's there? Okay, you got me. I hope you feel clever tricking a kid.
Quote from Cameron
Cameron: Did you hear that, Lily? You're the talent. Isn't that magical? Ooh. Grapes. Mmm. And that is a prop.
Quote from Claire
Haley: Yeah, well, maybe Sonya and her husband just need to work a little harder.
Claire: Can he give her those years back? She could have been something. She could have traveled the world, been with fascinating men. She could have accomplished things. That's all she thinks about now every time she looks at him.
Quote from Luke
Luke: So what happens if people stop buying houses? Are we all gonna have to get jobs?
Quote from Jay
Gloria: Jay, I'll see you later. I think you know where.
Jay: Honey? You know what I was just thinking? You know how when people are in love sometimes they finish each ether's sentences? Like, um tonight we're going to-
Gloria: Have fun.
Jay: Yes. When we get to-
Gloria: -gether later.
Quote from Manny
Manny: You have no idea where you're going, do you?
Jay: Tell me.
Manny: Hire Jack back.
Jay: Forget it.
Manny: Your funeral.
Quote from Cameron
Cameron: Okay, Lily, Daddy's going to be right over here. Okay. Oh, and, um, by the way, if it helps I have a list of things Lily can do. She can blow a kiss, flap her arms like a bird-
Director: Thank you. I'll keep that in mind.