Jill: How's the stew coming?
Mark: I don't know. I've never done this before.
Jill: Oh, well, honey, it's your first time, you know? And that's always kind of... [eats] This is incredible. What did you do?
Mark: Well, you know, I followed the recipe and made sure you didn't touch it.
Jill: Good going.

Jill: Where are you going?
Mark: Out with Jenny Curtis for pizza. I think I got a shot at being her boyfriend.
Jill: Jenny Curtis. Is she in your film club? That really pretty one that's president of the honor society?
Mark: Yup. And she's actually thinking about dating a guy like me.
Jill: What does that mean? "A guy like you."
Mark: Well, you know, fairly smart, average-looking, but kind of geeky. Your basic five.
Jill: You are not a five! You're great-looking, funny, smart, and you're a ten.
Mark: Mom, I don't want to be a ten. Jenny thinks all tens are pig-headed jerks. I'm better off being a five.
Jill: So you're trying to be geeky, but not too geeky?
Mark: It's a fine line.

Brad: I can't believe I have to waste my Friday night watching your stupid video.
Mark: It's payback for having to watch you kick your stupid soccer ball.
Tim: Guys, this is what family's all about, you know? Doing stuff together that you hate.

Tim: Hey, Brad. I'll take that change from the gas money now.
Brad: Oh, yeah.
Tim: Maybe next time you'll fill up the tank like I asked you to. Hope you learned something from this.
Brad: Yeah, that the "E" stands for "empty," not "extra 10 miles."
Tim: I'll tell you one thing. If I had built this car, it'd have an extra fuel tank in it.
Mark: Dad, if you built this car, we'd be taking the bus.
Brad: Hey, if there's one thing Dad knows how to do, it's build a car, okay?

Mark: Here, Dad, I made this for you.
Tim: What is it?
Mark: It's a snake badge for bravery.
Jill: Hey, that's very impressive.
Mark: Would you wear it on your TV show?
Tim: You bet I would. You're a good kid.

Jill: Boy, I hope he gets the part. Don't you think it would be cool to see Randy as Romeo?
Mark: You know, I don't think it's cool to see Randy as Randy.