Rory: I was just wondering, do your alumni friends have any daughters?
Emily: Daughters? What do you mean?
Rory: Well, I was just noticing that there are a lot of boys here but not that many girls.
Richard: Really? I hadn't noticed. Did you notice, Emily?
Emily: Why no, I haven't.
Richard: Huh.
Emily: Well, I will have to pay more attention to the guest list next time, won't I, Richard?
Richard: Yes, you will.
Emily: I promise you, we will throw another party just for our friends with girls. But in the meantime...

Rory: [on the phone] So I get here, and Grandma immediately whisks me upstairs where her hairdresser and makeup artist are waiting to make a new me.
Lorelai: 'Cause the old you was so last season.
Rory: Then I come downstairs to find that the guests are all Yale friends of Grandma and Grandpa's and their sons.
Lorelai: What?
Rory: No girls! All boys, and me!
Lorelai: You're kidding.
Rory: Nope. I feel like I'm being auctioned off.
Lorelai: They suck, my parents suck.
Rory: This is a very silly picture.

Kyon: Mrs. Kim does not want me to watch the television!
Lane: And how would she know?
Kyon: Because, there's a little machine in the television set that will tell her what I watch!
Lane: Ha!
Kyon: What ha?
Lane: That machine does not exist.
Kyon: It does not?
Lane: Nope. It took me fifteen years to figure it out, but that's the truth.
Kyon: So she cannot know?
Lane: She also cannot smell fast food on you even after you've showered.

Lane: And she can't tell how many times you've opened your bible by staring at your palm.
Kyon: My head spins!
Lane: And you don't have to hand out all those religious flyers she gives you. Just post enough of them around here regular route home and she'll think the job is done.
Kyon: I think I need to lie down.
Lane: It's a whole new world, Kyon. A world I fought long and hard to figure out and I'm willing to pass all my knowledge on to you.
Kyon: So, I can eat fries, watch TV if I get home early from not giving out my flyers?
Lane: I wouldn't bring the fries into the house. She has a really good nose. But you're thinking big, and I respect that.
Kyon: I can watch the TV!
Lane: Stick with me, kid, and I'll have you wearing lip gloss within a month.

Dean: What am I doing here, Rory?
Rory: You're picking me up.
Dean: I don't belong here. Not anymore. Do I?
Rory: Dean.
Dean: You look good. [drives off]
Logan: You'll be okay.
Rory: No, I won't.

Lorelai: [on the phone] I just wanted to touch base with you about this little party you threw for Rory tonight.
Emily: The party was not for Rory, it was for our Yale alumni.
Lorelai: Oh, it was not. It was a trick and you know it and I know it so let's just know it together.
Richard: What do you want, Lorelai?
Lorelai: You lied to your granddaughter tonight. You lied to a kid who trusted you. You tricked her.
Emily: It was a party!
Lorelai: It was a mating ritual!

Richard: [on the phone with Lorelai] I'm sure that Dean is a very nice young man. But he is certainly not good enough for Rory!
Emily: That's right!
Richard: Now she is young. Young people need guidance. And since you seem so little help in this department, we had to step in.
Lorelai: Well, step on out again, because this is none of your business!
Emily: Lorelai, I am tired. And the caterers have caked the floor with something sticky and I don't have time for this. We want more for her, period. Now, obviously it is too late for you but it is not too late for Rory, and we are going to make sure that she has the life she deserves!
Lorelai: You know, it doesn't matter what you think of me, okay? Rory will choose her own path in life and there's nothing either one of you can do about it.
Emily: I'm hanging up.
Lorelai: Well, me too.

Luke: You know, I have many talents, okay?
Lorelai: I know. I mean, the way you keep that mountie hat perfectly balanced the entire time we're-
Luke: Okay, so, if you keep making mountie hat jokes, you're going to eventually believe that there's an actual mountie hat.