Dean: I thought Christmas was a big deal around here.
Rory: Well, this is a town that likes the celebrating. Last year, we had a month-long carnival when we got off the septic tank system.
Dean: A month long? You're kidding.
Rory: No. There were rides, and a petting zoo, and balloon animals, and a freak show.
Dean: Uh-huh. Okay, you almost had me going there for a second.
Rory: But we did have a ribbon-cutting ceremony.

Dean: So, what are you doing Friday night?
Rory: Well, I've got the usual Friday night grandparents' dinner. But I thought if we get back early enough you and I should go watch the bonfire together. I mean, it's kind of corny, but it's really pretty. And they sell star-shaped hot dogs.
Dean: How about if you get out of dinner at your grandparents' this week?
Rory: I don't think so.
Dean: What if it's for a special occasion?
Rory: Well, that special occasion better include my being relocated to a plastic bubble if my grandmother's gonna let me out of dinner.

Lorelai: Do you know how much Emily Gilmore will not care about your anniversary?
Rory: I was thinking you could talk to her.
Lorelai: If there was a runoff between what Emily Gilmore would care about less: A two-for-one toilet paper sale or your anniversary your anniversary would win. Hands down.
Rory: So you're not even going to try to help me?
Lorelai: No, I'm gonna try because I care. Emily Gilmore, however...

Lorelai: [chuckles]
Rory: What?
Lorelai: Nothing. It's just "Oh, hey, Mom, Rory and Dean are having their three-month anniversary on Friday." [imitates Emily] "Really, Lorelai? Why, that's wonderful. I'm thrilled."
Rory: Stop.
Lorelai: "Three months. Well, whoo-hoo. Hold on. I'm going to cartwheel."
Rory: Forget it.
Lorelai: Oh, no way. She's telling my dad now. I think they're cabbage patching.
Rory: That's it. Find your own pan.

Paris: This is a school. You don't do this in a school.
Louise: No, not unless you've got a boyfriend like Tristin. Then you do it anywhere you can.
Madeline: Street corner.
Louise: Shopping mall.
Madeline: Phone booth.
Louise: Starbucks.
Paris: Thank you for the "where-to-make-out list". I just need to get my books.
Louise: [to Madeline] Hell hath no fury.

Lorelai: Now, people, this is a kitchen. At least wear some hairnets.
Sookie: Hello. We were-
Jackson: Just discussing jam making.
Sookie: Jackson's gonna start making jam and preserves.
Jackson: Maybe tomato sauce.
Sookie: There's a whole world out there beyond growing vegetables.
Lorelai: No coffee?
Sookie: Sorry.
Lorelai: That's okay.
Sookie: Resume smooching.

Michel: [on the phone] Thank you. No, cherie. I can't wait either. Very soon. You are? Don't tease me. I promise all this waiting will be worthwhile. I'll see you then. Goodbye, darling. [hangs up]
Lorelai: So how's Mom?
Michel: And while normally I would look forward to a good verbal sparring match, today I say no. My heart is light, the world is fine, and I have a date for Saturday night. Your turn.
Lorelai: Ugh. What I need now is lots and lots of coffee.

Lane: Yes, I'm going to the festival, and would you like to know why?
Lorelai: Uh-hoh.
Lane: My mother has set me up again.
Rory: Another future doctor?
Lane: A future chiropractor. I think she's losing confidence in my prospects.
Rory: Maybe he'll be nice.
Lane: Oh, it's not just him. We're going with his parents, his grandparents, two sisters, three brothers, and at least one maiden aunt.

Lane: So, think I could hang out with you for a while?
Lorelai: Not unless you want to go to Hartford. Besides, didn't anyone ever tell you it's not polite to keep 15 potential Korean in-laws waiting.
Lane: You could run over me. Maybe my mother wouldn't make me go if I was in hospital.
Lorelai: I wouldn't count on it.
Lane: You're right.

Lorelai: Oh, God. Mom has gone a little crazy with the figurines here. A little Kathy Bates? Although, you probably haven't seen Misery, which is a good thing. 'Cause Rory couldn't sleep alone for a week after we watched it. That wouldn't be a problem for you because you don't sleep alone anyway. I'm guessing. I don't know what your and Mom's sleeping arrangement is. Now I'm wishing I hadn't brought it up because it's a "Wow, don't want to go there" kind of a subject for me. Not for you, because you should definitely go there if you... Well, anyway... [figurines clatter] Ah!
Richard: Oh, what have you done now?
Lorelai: Nothing, I'm just putting the bunny back with his little friends and I just sort of massacred them a little bit. But, that's life in the jungle, isn't it?
Richard: Just sit down, please.
Lorelai: Okay. Sorry.
Richard: Just sit with your hands in your lap.
Lorelai: Sorry.
Richard: And I'm trying to read. So please, just be quiet, and try not to break anything else.
Emily: Now, we having a nice chat?
Lorelai: Yeah, we're having a great conversation, me and Morrie.