Lorelai: Mom, neither of these two have any musical talent.
Christopher: Hey, I play guitar. The opening lick to Smoke On The Water. And I've mastered the opening lick to Jumpin' Jack Flash.
Richard: I'm a Chuck Berry man myself. [Lorelai snorts] Something wrong?
Lorelai: I would never have guessed that last sentence would ever come out of your mouth.
Richard: And why not?
Lorelai: Chuck Berry?
Richard: Yes, Chuck Berry. He was all the rage when I was in school.
Lorelai: So we're talking pre "My Ding-A-Ling"?
Richard: I believe I am.

Christopher: She has a Dean?
Lorelai: She has a Dean.
Christopher: How did this happen?
Lorelai: Well, a single-celled organism crawled out of the primordial ooze and that pretty much led to Dean.
Christopher: [sighs] I need a beer.

Sookie: You, get in here and tell me about the happenings at home.
Lorelai: I assume you mean, '"Dd we get our toaster fixed?" And no, it's been cold Pop-Tarts for a week. It's like a damn Dickens' novel.

Rory: This is the town flower shop. Over there is a good pizza place. That's the stationery store. And that's Al's Pancake World.
Christopher: Good pancakes?
Rory: Oh, he doesn't serve pancakes.
Christopher: Okay.
Rory: He switched to international cuisine a couple of years ago and dropped the pancakes. He would have dropped the name but he had already printed, like, a million napkins with the original name so he just kept it.
Christopher: What kind of international cuisine?
Rory: He kind of hops around. Last month, it was his salute to Paraguay.
Christopher: Anyone salute back?
Rory: Not really.

Richard: Christopher, old boy, how are you? My gosh, it's good to see you.
Christopher: How are you, Richard?
Richard: Well, I'm better than most. Not as good as some.
Christopher: And annoyed with all.
Richard: [chuckles] You speak the truth, young man. I have made martinis.

Emily: Do you remember when the two of you were ten and you put on that adorable show for us?
Lorelai: What show, Mom?
Christopher: Lucy, Schroeder, you laying on the coffee table.
Lorelai: You pretending it was a piano. God, why is that remembered?
Emily: Because it was such a wonderful production.
Lorelai: Eh, I don't know if it was a production. It was just one song.
Christopher: "Suppertime".
Richard: Did you write that? That was really very good.
Lorelai: Dad, that's from You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown. It's a famous musical.
Richard: Well, I thought Christopher might have written it. He's a very talented man.

Lorelai: I hate President Bush.
Straub: What?
Emily: Lorelai.
Christopher: Oh, boy.
Lorelai: He's stupid. And his face is too tiny for his head. And I just wanna toss him out.
Straub: That is the leader of our country, young lady.
Richard: Ignore her.
Francine: "His face is too tiny for his head", what kind of a thing is that to say?
Straub: I see your daughter's just as out of control as ever, Richard.

Richard: You don't need to be protected, Lorelai. You've made it very clear that you can look after yourself and that you need nothing from anyone.
Lorelai: That's not-
Richard: A member of my family was being attacked. The very Gilmore name was being attacked. I will not stand for that, not under any circumstances.
Lorelai: Okay, it doesn't really matter why you did it.
Richard: Yes, it does matter why I did it. It matters greatly! Lorelai, what are you going to take away from this? That everything that happened in the past is suddenly fine because I defended you?
Lorelai: No.
Richard: That the hell you put your mother and me through for the past 16 years is suddenly washed away? Well, it's not!
Lorelai: We've all been through hell.
Richard: I had to tell my friends, my colleagues that my only daughter, the brightest in her class was pregnant and was leaving school.
Lorelai: That must have been devastating.
Richard: And then you run away and treat us as lepers. Your mother couldn't get out of bed for a month. Did you know that? Did you?
Lorelai: No.
Richard: We did nothing to deserve that. Nothing to earn that.

Lorelai: I get it, I'm horrible. So why don't you disown me and adopt Christopher? You love him.
Richard: Don't be a martyr, Lorelai. And don't be naive. Do you think I love the boy who got my daughter pregnant? I wanted to kill him. I would have, too, with my bare hands. But there was a proper procedure to be followed in a situation like this.
Lorelai: Marriage.
Richard: Christopher was willing to follow the procedure we laid out. You weren't.
Lorelai: What about what I wanted? Dad, didn't that matter to you at all?
Richard: Sometimes one has to sacrifice something in order to do what is right.
Lorelai: I feel indescribably sad for you right now, Dad.
Richard: Save your emotions, Lorelai. I've had my fill of them tonight.
Lorelai: So, um, we just end it here? Nothing resolved?
Richard: I'm tired.
Lorelai: Okay. Okay.

Emily: That was quite a bit of excitement tonight.
Rory: Oh, yeah.
Emily: Not the good kind.
Rory: Nope.
Emily: None of this means anything, Rory.
Rory: I know.
Emily: Straub is actually a good man, very smart. He was one of the top lawyers in his field. A very arcane aspect of international law. And he's always been so active in his community. His charity work has never diminished over the years. Oh, let's face it, he's a big ass. Rory, I know you heard a lot of talk on various disappointments this evening. And I know you've heard a lot of talk about it in the past. But I wanna make this very clear. You, young lady, your person and your existence have never ever been, not even for a second, included in that list. Do you understand me?
Rory: Yeah, I do.
Emily: Good. Now eat up.