Emily: Is it gonna kill you to keep an open mind about him?
Lorelai: He is not my type.
Emily: Why not? Because I like him?
Lorelai: I don't know which one, but there is a game show out there with your name on it.
Emily: Well, that must be it, because you've hardly said two words to the man. You couldn't hate him already.
Lorelai: Oh, no.It's the game where the mole keeps sticking his head out. And you have to pound him as many times as you can with the mallet. You would be a master at that game.
Emily: Lorelai, I realize Chase may not be as controversial as your usual brand of men.
Lorelai: They'd erect your statue of you next to it with perfect hair pearls and a bronze mallet.

Rory: I just have to say that I am now a big fan of the three-month anniversary.
Dean: Yeah?
Rory: Definitely. I think they should have T-shirts and newsletters.
Dean: I'm glad.
Rory: You did all this for me?
Dean: It's not over yet.
Rory: Wow, this is just like that Christmas that I got a full set of illustrated encyclopedias. I wanted them.

Richard: Lorelai, your mother wants to know if-
Lorelai: Hi, Daddy. Okay, I know this is bad. And I know this probably brings back all the horrible aspects of my childhood life for you. And see, I'm really sorry that we fought last week. And I'm really sorry that you're so disappointed in me. And I really wish there was some way I could fix that. But there isn't, and I accept that because I am an adult now and I am proud of who I have become. But I am begging you, please do not make me go back down there because that guy is boring.
Richard: Emily, she's not up here!
Lorelai: [quietly] Thank you, Daddy.

Rory: I'm having one of those moments right now.
Dean: What moments?
Rory: One of those moments when everything is so perfect and so wonderful that you almost feel sad because nothing can ever be this good again.
Dean: So, basically, I'm depressing you?
Rory: Yup.
Dean: [chuckles] You're very weird.
Rory: And you're wonderful.

Lorelai: So...?
Luke: Yes?
Lorelai: What's the haps with you two?
Luke: The haps? Well, let's see. What is the haps?
Lorelai: I mean, like, you know...
Luke: I know what you meant by 'the haps.
Lorelai: Okay, well, you're repeating it a thousand times.
Luke: I was pondering.
Lorelai: Well, you ponder really slowly.
Luke: If I did it fast, it wouldn't be pondering. Pondering by nature has a slow connotation.

Dean: Like it's your three-month anniversary with your boyfriend.
Rory: It is?
Dean: Yeah. I mean, three months from your birthday. That's when I gave you the bracelet and that's when I figure this whole thing started.
Rory: Wow, three months!
Dean: Actually, technically, your birthday was on a Saturday so it should be Saturday, but I work Saturday and I planned this whole big thing. So I thought we could do it Friday.
Rory: What whole big thing?
Dean: Just this once, miss dinner. Please. Don't make me throw myself under a train.
Rory: I'll see what I can do.
Dean: Thank you.

Rory: It's our three-month anniversary.
Dean: Yeah, it is.
Rory: I feel stupid I didn't even know about this.
Dean: That's quite all right.
Rory: I mean, I feel really bad that I missed our two-month anniversary.
Dean: Quite all right, too.
Rory: How was it?
Dean: Pretty good.
Rory: I'm glad.

Rory: So tell me, why the sudden need to be domestic?
Lorelai: Oh, I don't know. I'm in a funky mood.
Rory: Why?
Lorelai: Too many stars, too much love. It makes me cranky.
Rory: So you haven't heard from Mr. Medina.
Lorelai: No, I haven't.
Rory: Maybe that's why you are cranky.
Lorelai: New subject, please.
Rory: You have a phone also.
Lorelai: How's it coming with that pan?
Rory: Cleopatra, queen of denial.

Lorelai: [on the phone] Okay, Mom, just hear me out, okay? And don't say anything. See, Friday night is Rory and Dean's three-month anniversary. And while that might not seem like a big deal to you, it is to them. And I'm gonna ask you to do something you are so not gonna wanna do. But I am begging you to look at it from her point of view and maybe let her, just this once, not come to dinner on Friday.
Emily: All right.
Lorelai: [sighs] What?
Emily: Since this is a special occasion, I suppose it would be fine if Rory missed dinner on Friday.
Lorelai: It would?
Emily: Yes.
Lorelai: Are you sure?
Emily: I believe I am.
Lorelai: No arguments?
Emily: No.
Lorelai: She won't be there.
Emily: I understand.
Lorelai: At all.
Emily: I heard.
Lorelai: All night long.
Emily: I assumed as much.
Lorelai: Okay.
Emily: Okay.
Lorelai: All right.
Emily: Anything else?
Lorelai: She's gonna need some help getting ready for the big night. So I should...
Emily: We'll see you at 7:00.

Paris: Excuse me. You're in my way. Hey, spawn in front of somebody else's locker, please.
Rory: I'm assuming your locker's in there somewhere also.
Paris: Yep, right behind Belle Watling.
Rory: Have you tried to get their attention?
Paris: Sure have.
Rory: No luck?
Paris: No.
Rory: God, look at that. It's like he's eating her face.
Paris: Okay, that's it. I'm getting the fire hose.