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That Damn Donna Reed

‘That Damn Donna Reed’

Season 1, Episode 14 -  Aired February 22, 2001

Rory and Dean have an argument over the idea of '50s TV housewife. Meanwhile, Lorelai encourages Luke to give the diner a lick of paint.

Quote from Lane

Lane: Okay, let's have a look. Okay, we have classic rock, progressive rock, pretty-boy rock...
Rory: Excuse me?
Lane: Bon Jovi, Duran Duran, The Wallflowers, Bush...
Rory: Got it. Next?
Lane: Uh, punk, new wave, German metal bands... Broadway soundtracks.
Rory: Interesting filing system.
Lane: Anything yet?
Rory: Nope, sorry.
Lane: Okay. Well, over there, we have jazz, jazz vocals, classical, country rockabilly, Sinatra: The Capitol Years. Oh, wait. The miscellaneous section.
Rory: Hey, that sounds right. William Shatner? Is this the one where he sings "Tambourine Man"?
Lane: And "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds".
Rory: Remind me to get this for my mom for her birthday.


Quote from Dean

Dean: What are we watching?
Lorelai: The incomparable Donna Reed Show.
Rory: What's in there?
Dean: A salad.
Rory: Salad?
Dean: Yeah, it's a quaint dish sometimes used to precede large quantities of pizza. [Lorelai and Rory give Dean a puzzled look] It's for me.
Rory: Clearly.

Quote from Lorelai

Lorelai: Kick-ass wine.
Emily: How poetic.
Lorelai: It's got a nice smell. Earthy, vibrant. You can taste the Italian's feet.
Richard: Well, it's a Bordeaux. It's French.
Lorelai: Hmm. What's an Italian's foot doing in a French wine?

Quote from Lorelai

Lorelai: Look, she's making doughnuts. Not that my sugary attitude wouldn't make anyone an instant diabetic.
Rory: Mother-daughter window washing. We should try that.
Lorelai: Yeah, right after mother-daughter shock treatments. "You know, Daughter. There's nothing more satisfying than washing windows. Oh, no."
Rory: "What? Did I miss a spot?"
Lorelai: "No, I just had an impure thought about your father, Alex. Funny, I don't know why I had it. It isn't the second Saturday of the month."
Rory: "Hey, I heard you had an impure thought about me."
Lorelai: "I must now sublimate all my impure thoughts by going into the kitchen and making an endless string of perfect casseroles."
Dean: You're not even listening to the dialogue.
Rory: Ours is better.

Quote from Lorelai

Richard: We always go to the Vineyard at this time of year.
Lorelai: You could break the chain, Dad. Go to Paris.
Rory: Yes, Paris.
Lorelai: Impressionism, poodles...
Rory: Creme brulee.
Lorelai: Oh, that's great.
Richard: Impossible.
Lorelai: Pourquoi? French.
Emily: We only go to Europe in the fall.
Lorelai: You know, Mom, I heard a rumor Europe's still there in spring.
Rory: I heard it, too.
Emily: We know it's there in the spring. But we never go then because we always go in the fall.
Lorelai: It's getting a bit too Lewis Carroll for me.

Quote from Lorelai

Richard: Well, what is so interesting about Europe in the spring?
Lorelai: Spring vegetables.
Emily: You want us to go to Europe to eat a vegetable?
Lorelai: No, I don't know, Mom. There's all kinds of stuff. There's festivals and, you know, Europe.
Emily: In the fall.
Richard: It costs a fortune to travel first-class in Europe. We only do it every two years.
Emily: In the fall.
Richard: It's just not in the budget this year.
Lorelai: You don't have to fly first class. [Richard and Emily are stunned into silence] 'Cause there's always coach. Or business class is slightly less. There's deals on the Internet. [Richard and Emily exchange a look] Hmm. Pass the potatoes.
Rory: You got it.

Quote from Rory

Rory: "Catherine the Great, 1729 to'96. Empress of Russia, 1762 to '96."
Lorelai: Hold still, please.
Rory: "Originally named Sophie Friederike Auguste von Anhalt-Zerbst."
Lorelai: But everybody called her Kitten.
Rory: "Married to Grand Duke Peter of Holstein in 1754."
Lorelai: Rory, seriously-
Rory: "The marriage was an unhappy one."
Lorelai: There were way too many names. Ow! Lady with notecards, look at lady with needle and focus so I can sew the button on your sweater and not on my thumb.
Rory: I'm sorry.

Quote from Babette

Babette: So I was thinking maybe Rory could come over and housesit for the evening.
Rory: I'd love to.
Babette: Oh, great. We got a kitchen full of food, and Morey got cable so you can watch those four girls talking dirty if you want to.
Rory: Sounds good.

Quote from Rory

Rory: It's not just that. It's- It's the having to have the dinner on the table as soon as the husband gets home and having to look perfect to do housework and the whole concept that her one point in life is to serve somebody else.
Dean: Fine. Yes, but maybe there are two points of view here.
Rory: I don't think so.
Dean: Well, you feel that way because your mother feels that way.
Rory: Oh, what, so I have no opinions of my own?
Dean: I didn't mean that.
Rory: Well, I guess if I have no opinions of my own, then I'd be just the kind of girl you like.
Dean: Rory. My mom made dinner for my dad every day before she started working. And now she even does it on the weekends. So what does that say about her?
Rory: It says she has a choice and Donna Reed didn't.
Dean: You do realize that Donna Reed wasn't real, don't you?
Rory: Yes, I know that she wasn't real, but she represented millions of women that were real and did have to dress and act like that...
Dean: Please tell me how we began arguing about The Donna Reed Show.
Rory: I don't know.

Quote from Luke

Lorelai: Now, this is another way to go. Sort of a French bistro kind of a look.
Luke: This isn't a French bistro.
Lorelai: Really? It's amazing what you learn when you bother to listen.
Luke: Which you usually don't.
Lorelai: Yes, but then I don't have a lot of useless information intruding in my brain.
Luke: Thank God.
Lorelai: Now, if you wanted to do more warm, golden Tuscan countryside...
Luke: Then I'd go to Italy.

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