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Christopher Returns

‘Christopher Returns’

Season 1, Episode 15 - Aired March 1, 2001

When Rory's father, Christopher, visits Stars Hollow for the first time, his and and Lorelai's parents get together for the first time in years.

Quote from Lorelai

Christopher: Okay, so what do you want, financial statements? I can be a family man. I'm responsible now.
Lorelai: Honey, you can't even buy a book without having your credit card declined.
Christopher: Man, I told Rory not to rat me out. I can't believe she did that.
Lorelai: She didn't. Andrew from the bookstore called, and Jackson, and the UPS guy. And, ooh, it was the lead story on the Stars Hollow web page. And then I asked Rory, and she very reluctantly confirmed it. "Rat me out." What are you, 16?
Christopher: I'm sorry.
Lorelai: And what are you doing telling my daughter to lie to me, anyway?
Christopher: She's my daughter, too.
Lorelai: More like your playmate.

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Quote from Lorelai

Christopher: What about last night? What did our having sex mean to you?
Lorelai: It meant that Jose Cuervo still has amazing magical powers.
Christopher: You're funny.

Quote from Lorelai

Lorelai: We can't get married, Christopher. We don't even know each other as adults.
Christopher: Well, let's get married and get to know each other as adults.
Lorelai: That's very Fiddler on the Roof of you.
Christopher: Well, let's get to know each other. What do you wanna know?
Lorelai: How's your business really doing? [Christopher scoffs] I knew it.

Quote from Rory

Rory: Dad wants to know if you'll reconsider. [Lorelai whispers in her ear] She says, "Nope, Offspring sucks and Metallica rules."
Christopher: Fair enough.

Quote from Lorelai

Lorelai: I will probably always love him.
Rory: Okay, so?
Lorelai: But that doesn't change the fact that he still has a long way to go before he is ready to take us on full time. I mean, you are a handful, missy. And while I'm pure joy and sunshine every waking hour I still have my own set of needs that must be met. It just wasn't right, babe. You have to trust me on that. [Rory is silent] Hmm? Talk, please.
Rory: I still think there was a little something different.
Lorelai: Maybe you're right.
Rory: Really?
Lorelai: It would be nice.
Rory: Yeah, it would.
Lorelai: I'll tell you what, let's not put all the blankets away just yet.

Quote from Luke

Lorelai: Can I make one more suggestion?
Luke: Nope.
Lorelai: Curtains.
Luke: No.
Lorelai: Manly curtains.
Luke: Oxymoron.
Lorelai: What did you call me?
Luke: No curtains.
Lorelai: Come on! You got to give a little. How about a tablecloth?
Luke: No, we don't do tablecloths here.

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