Phoebe: Oh, I have something you can do! I have this new massage client, Steve. Anyway, he's opening up a restaurant and he's looking for a head chef.
Monica: Um, hi, there.
Phoebe: Hi. I know. Oh, yeah, I know. You're a chef and I thought of you first. But Chandler's the one who needs a job right now, so...

Rachel: Career counselor?
Chandler: Hey, you guys all know what you want to do.
Rachel: I don't.
Chandler: Hey, you guys in the living room all know what you want to do. You know, you have goals. You have dreams. I don't have a dream!
Ross: Ah, the lesser-known "I Don't Have a Dream" speech.

Ross: Her name is Celia. She's not a bug lady. She's curator of insects at the museum.
Monica: So what are you guys gonna do?
Ross: Well, I just thought we'd go to dinner and then maybe bring her back to my place and I'd introduce her to my monkey.
Chandler: And he's not speaking metaphorically.

Phoebe: $10 an hour for what?
Monica: Oh, I asked one of the waitresses from work if she'd help me out.
Rachel: Waitressing?
Joey: Uh-oh.
Monica: Of course I thought of you. But. But. But, but. But, you see, it's just this night has to go just perfect, you know? And well, Wendy's more of a professional waitress.
Rachel: Oh. I see. Yes. And I've sort of been maintaining my amateur status so that I can waitress in the Olympics.

Chandler: You know, I don't mean to brag, but I waited tables at lnnsbruck in '76. Took home a bronze. Amuse-bouche?

Joey: What's the big deal? You just say what you wanna do to her. Or what you want her to do to you. Or what you think other people might be doing to each other.

Joey: I'll tell you what. Try something on me.
Ross: Please be kidding.
Joey: Why not? Come on, just close your eyes and tell me what you'd like to be doing right now.
Ross: I'm in my apartment.
Joey: Yeah, what else?
Ross: That's it. I'm in my apartment. You're not there. We're not having this conversation.

Joey: All right, I'll start. Ready? Oh, Ross you get me so hot. I want your lips on me now. Now you say something.
Ross: I really don't think so.
Joey: Come on. You like this woman, right?
Ross: Well, yeah.
Joey: You wanna see her again, right?
Ross: Sure.
Joey: Well if you can't talk dirty to me, how are you going to talk dirty to her? Now tell me you wanna caress my butt!

Ross: Okay, turn around. I just don't want you staring at me when I'm doing it.
Joey: All right, I'm not looking. Go ahead.
Ross: Okay. I want- Okay, I want to feel your hot, soft skin with my lips.
Joey: There you go. Keep going, keep going.
Ross: I want to take my tongue and-
Joey: Say it. Say it!
Ross: -run it all over your body until you're trembling with- [Chandler makes a noise behind them, Joey and Ross turn around]
Chandler: With?
Ross: Funny story.
Joey: You're not going to believe this.
Chandler: It's okay. It's okay. I was always rooting for you two kids to get together.

Rachel: What's up?
Phoebe: Well, in the cab on the way over here, Steve blazed up a doobie.
Rachel: What?
Phoebe: Smoked a joint, you know? Lit a bone. Weed, hemp, ganja-
Rachel: Okay, okay. I'm with you, Cheech.