Monica: So listen, I'm sorry I didn't tell you this before, but I'm no longer at my job. I had to leave it.
Judy Geller: Why?
Monica: Because they made me.
Judy Geller: You were fired? What are you gonna do?
Jack Geller: Judy, relax. This is our little Harmonica we're talking about. We taught her well. Ten percent of your paycheck, where does it go?
Ross: ln the bank.
Monica: In the bank.
Jack Geller: There you go. So she dips into her savings. That's what it's there for. She's gonna be fine. And if you need a little extra you know where to find it. [pulls a penny from behind Monica's ear]
Monica: Anything larger back there?

Restaurant Manager: All right. Let's see if you're as good in person as you are on paper. Make me a salad.
Monica: A salad? Really, I could do something more complicated if you like.
Restaurant Manager: No, just the salad will be fine.
Monica: Okay, you got it.
Restaurant Manager: Now I want you to tell me what you're doing while you're doing it.
Monica: All right. Well, I'm tearing the lettuce.
Restaurant Manager: Uh-huh. Is it dirty?
Monica: Oh, no, don't worry. I'm gonna wash it.
Restaurant Manager: Don't. I like it dirty.
Monica: That's your call.
Restaurant Manager: So, what are you going to do next?
Monica: Well, I thought that l would cut up the tomatoes.
Restaurant Manager:Are they firm?
Monica: They're all right.
Restaurant Manager: You sure they haven't gone bad? You sure they're not very, very bad?
Monica: No, really, they're okay.
Restaurant Manager:You gonna slice them up real nice?
Monica: I was going to do them julienne.
Restaurant Manager: [moans]
Monica: I'm out of here.

Ross: Hello? No, Rachel's not here. Can I take a message? How do we spell Casey? Is it like "at the bat" or "and The Sunshine Band"?

Chandler: Yeah, it's a little flashy.
Ross: No, no. No, no. It's not flashy. Not for a goodfella.

Monica: Man, that is sharp. That must have cost you quite a few doubloons.

Ross: What about us?
Rachel: Ross, there is no "us," okay?
Ross: No, but-
Rachel: Listen to me. I fell for you and I get clobbered. You then fall for me and I again somehow get clobbered. I'm tired of being clobbered, you know? It's just not worth it.
Ross: Well, but-
Rachel: No "but," Ross. We are never gonna happen, okay? Accept that.
Ross: Except that what?
Rachel: No. No. Accept that.

Joey: If you hated the bracelet, you should have just said so.
Chandler: Well, doesn't the fact that I wore it say how much our friendship means to me?
Joey: But you insulted the bracelet and you made fun of me.
Chandler: Well, that's the part where I'm a wank.

Judy Geller: Jack, look. There's that house paint commercial that cracks you up.

Ross: Okay, here you go. You can pay me back whenever you like.
Monica: You have dinosaur checks?
Ross: Yeah, yeah. I mean, you get your money and you learn a little something. What's wrong with that?
Monica: Nothing. Nothing. Hey, you're a cheap-a-saurus. I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Thank you, I'm very grateful.

Rachel: Oh, my God. There's Roy Gublik.
Monica: You know, Roy saw Star Wars 317 times. His name was in the paper.