Monica: Hey, it's Phoebe and Rachel. Why don't you tell them what you were telling me earlier about me not being high maintenance.
Chandler: Monica is a self-sufficient, together lady. Being with her has been like being on a vacation. And what may be perceived as high maintenance is merely attention to detail and ... [Monica whispers] generosity of spirit.
Rachel: Wow. You know what? That is the best fake speech I think I've ever heard.
Phoebe: Really? I've heard better.
Monica: Wait. Wait, he came up with that himself. Tell them, Chandler.
Chandler: I'm out of words. Should I just say the whole thing again?

Monica: Look, I am not high maintenance! I am not. Chandler!
Chandler: You're a little high maintenance.
Monica: [gasps] You are on my list.

Chandler: Look, I'm sorry, but you're not- You're not easygoing, but you're passionate.
And that's good. And when you get upset about little things, I think that I'm pretty good at making you feel better. And that's good too. So they say you're high maintenance but it's okay, because I like ... maintaining you.
Monica: I didn't even tell him to say that.
Chandler: Okay.
Monica: All right, you're off my list.
Chandler: I'm off the list.

Rachel: Well, how did you lose your job here?
Joey: Well, I had the audition but Gunther said I had to stay here and be in charge so he could get his hair dyed. So I went anyway, and he fired me.
Rachel: He left work in the middle of the day to do a personal errand and left you in charge when you've been working here for two days? That's not right.
Joey: What are you gonna do?
Rachel: Joey, you can't let him get away with that. You know what, I'm not going to let him get away with that. I'm gonna say something to him. No, I really shouldn't say anything. No, I should say something to him. Gunther? I want you to give Joey his job back. That is really not fair that you have to fire him-
Gunther: Okay.
Rachel: What?
Gunther: He can have his job back.
Rachel: That's right, he can have his job back. Glad we got that all straightened out.

Joey: Gunther? I can't pay now, because I'm not working. I've had to cut down on some luxuries like ... paying for stuff, so...

Ross: Look, Chandler, it's my joke. But, hey, if it makes you feel better, they don't print the name.
So it doesn't really matter who gets credit.
Chandler: Yeah, I guess.
Joey: Hey, guys.
Chandler: Hey, Joey, Playboy printed my joke.
Ross: No, no, no. It's mine. It's my joke. You can call them, they'll tell you.
Chandler: It's my joke.
Ross: It's my joke.
Joey: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Jokes? What. You guys know they have naked chicks in there, right?

Chandler: Dude, you have got to turn on Behind The Music. The band Heart is having a really tough time and I think they may break up.

Chandler: Want to see if the joke stealer will let us watch at his place?
Joey: Sure.
Chandler: Paid your phone bill?
Joey: Not so much.

Monica: So do you think these pictures are trying to tell a story?
Rachel: Oh, yeah, sure. I mean, like in the case of this young woman, she has lost her clothes.
So she rides naked on the horse, she's crying out, "Where are they? Where are they?"
Monica: Well, she's not gonna find them, lying in the grass like that.
Phoebe: Oh, yeah. Remember the days when you used to go out to the barn, lift up your shirt and bend over?

Rachel: You see, now, I would date this girl. She's cute, she's outdoorsy. You know, and she knows how to build a fire. That's got to come in handy.