Monica: She picked Rachel. She tried to back out of it, but it was obvious. She picked Rachel.
Chandler: He took my joke. He just took it.
Monica: This is wrong. You know what else is wrong? Phoebe picking Rachel.
Chandler: Know who else picked Rachel? Ross. You know what else Ross did? He stole my joke. You know what, I'm gonna get a joke journal, you know? And document the date and time of every single one of my jokes.
Monica: Good idea. You know what's a bad idea?
Chandler: Picking Rachel.
Monica: That's right.

Phoebe: Okay, the reason I was leaning a little bit more toward Rachel than you is just, you know, you're high maintenance. Okay, let's go to lunch.
Monica: That is completely untrue. You think I'm high maintenance? Okay, prove it. I want you to write out a list, and we're going to go through it point by point.
Phoebe: No, you're right, you're easygoing.

Rachel: You think I'm a pushover. Well, watch this. You're not invited to lunch. What do you think? Pretty strong, I think. Come on, Monica, let's go to lunch.
Monica: You start working on that list.
Rachel: I cannot believe her.
Monica: I know. Where do you want to eat?
Rachel: Oh, I love that Japanese place.
Monica: Ugh, I'm sick of Japanese. We're not going there.
Rachel: Okay. Well wherever you want to go is cool.

Ross: Oh, hey, Gunther, check this out.
Gunther: [laughing] Oh, yeah, that Chandler cracks me up.

Monica: Joey, what are you doing?
Joey: Just being friendly.
Rachel: Joey, honey, I don't think you're supposed to go back there.
Joey: No, no. It's okay. Right, Gunther? [Joey winks]
Gunther: Don't wink at me. And put on your apron.
Joey: Okay. I don't see you asking other paying customers to put on aprons.

Monica: Joey, what's going on? Why didn't you tell us you work here?
Joey: It's kind of embarrassing, you know. I mean, I was an actor, now I'm a waiter. It's supposed to go in the other direction.
Chandler: So's your apron. You're wearing it like a cape.

Monica: So, maybe I am a little high maintenance. And maybe Rachel is a little bit of a pushover. But you know what we both decided you are?
Rachel: Yes, we are very sorry to tell you this, but you, Phoebe, are flaky.
Monica: Ha!
Phoebe: That's true, I am flaky.
Rachel: So, what, you're just okay with being flaky?
Phoebe: Yeah, totally.
Monica: Then I'm okay with being high maintenance.
Rachel: Yeah. And I am okay with being a pushover.
Phoebe: That's great. Good for you guys.
Monica: I am not high maintenance!
Rachel: I am not a pushover!
Phoebe: Who said you were?
Monica and Rachel: You did!
Phoebe: I'm flaky. I'll say anything.

Joey: Hey, Gunther. Can you cover for me? I just got an audition.
Gunther: No, I'm leaving to get my hair dyed.
Joey: Really? I like your natural color.

Joey: Oh, man. I could totally get that part. "I'm sorry, this seat is taken."
Guy: Oh, sorry. Excuse me.
Joey: No, I didn't mean you. But you believed me, huh?
Guy: I believed you were saving this seat for someone.
Joey: So you'd hire me, right?
Guy: For what?
Joey: Exactly. All right, everybody listen up. The coffeehouse is going to be closed for about an hour.
All: What?
Joey: Yeah, it's for the kids. Yeah, to keep the kids off drugs. It's a very important issue in this month's Playboy. I'm sure you all read about it.

Monica: I can't be fair. You're my boyfriend.
Ross: Yes, but I'm your brother. We're family. That's the most important thing in the world.
Chandler: Don't try to sway her. I'm your only chance to have a baby.