Janice: How did you know?
Chandler: Joey told me. He saw you two kissing.
Janice: In the park?
Chandler: No. In his office. How many kisses were there?

Janice: I can't breathe. Can you get me a bag or something?
Chandler: Here. Here.
Janice: [spitting up paper] It's the receipt.
Chandler: I'll take it.

Monica: We should call somebody.
Ross: And tell them what? That the naked guy we stare at all the time isn't moving?

Rachel: We've got to find out if he's alive.
Monica: Yeah, but how are we gonna do that? There's no way.
Joey: Well, there is one way. His window's open. I say we poke him.

Chandler: What would you do?
Joey: It doesn't matter what I'd do.
Chandler: Come on. Come on. Tell me.
Joey: All right, you probably won't want to hear this. But if it was me, and this is just me, I would bow out.
Chandler: What? What are you talking about?
Joey: They have a kid together, you know? They're, like, a family. And if, I don't know, if there's a chance they can make that work, I know I wouldn't want to be the guy who stood in the way.

Ross: Well, he's finally asleep. About that bump on his head.
Rachel: Are you sure it's a new bump? No offense, but I've always thought of Ben as a fairly bumpy-headed child.

Rachel: I watched Monica bang his head against that thing.
Ross: Monica did it? Monica, did you notice anything weird about Ben today?
Monica: No, why?
Ross: I was just playing with him, and we were doing the "Alphabet Song", which he used to be good at. But suddenly he's just leaving out "E" and "F." It's like they just, I don't know, fell out of his head.
Monica: Really?
Ross: Oh, and also, he's walking kind of funny. It's like his left leg is moving a lot faster than his right leg. Yeah, he's in there, just ... [circling around]
Monica: Oh, my God! I wrecked your baby! [checking on Ben]
Rachel: I hope it's still funny when you're in hell.
Monica: You jerk!

Ross: [running around the apartment] Monica bang! Monica bang! [Ross hits his head on the wooden beam]
Rachel: I'll get the hat.

Janice: But before I can say goodbye, there's something I really need you to know. The way I feel about you, it's like I finally understand what Lionel Ritchie's been singing about. You know? I mean, what we have it's like movie love. You're my soul mate. I can't believe we're not gonna spend the rest of our lives together.
Chandler: Then don't leave me.
Janice: What?
Chandler: Forget what I said. I was babbling. Pick me.
Janice: No, you were right. I gotta give my marriage another chance.
Chandler: No, you don't. No, no, I say you have to give your divorce another chance.

Chandler: You can't leave. I have your shoe.
Janice: Goodbye, Chandler Bing.