Doug: Well, I can't say I'm altogether surprised. I saw the way she looked at you, and there was no love there. And the way she looked at me, pure lust.
Chandler: What would really help me through this tough time is choking someone. Can I choke you?

Rachel: You gave her a key to your apartment?
Ross: Not just a key. I gave her the only key. I am now a homeless person in a very serious relationship.

Mona: I thought we were moving forward. And now you're sending me all these mixed signals. What are you trying to tell me?
Ross: I'm trying to tell you I made you a mix tape.
Mona: What?
Ross: I love you.
Mona: Oh. Aww. And I love spending time with you.

Rachel: Okay, this is embarrassing. Lately, with this whole pregnancy thing I'm just finding myself... How do I put this? Erotically charged.
Joey: Is that college talk for "horny"?
Rachel: Yeah.

Phoebe: Listen, I'm sorry about that whole thing with Roger. It really wasn't right. And I want to make it up to you. So, um, I brought you something I think you'll really enjoy. Now this is just a loan, okay? I'm gonna want him back. I'm gonna go now. [Phoebe returns and takes the Evander Holyfield cutout back] I'm sorry. I thought I could do it, and I can't.

Rachel: I have all of these feelings, and I don't know what to do about them. Because I can't date a normal person, which is fine because I don't need a relationship. I mean, all I really want is one great night! Just sex, you know. No strings attached. No relationship. Just with someone that I feel comfortable with, and who knows what he's doing. For just one great night. I mean, is that really so hard to find? ... So how was your day?
Joey: Good. I saw a pretty big pigeon.
Rachel: Well, I gotta get up early, and it's almost 7:00.
Joey: Yeah, I gotta go to my room.
Rachel: Good night.
Joey: Good night. I can't do it!
Rachel: I didn't ask you to do it.
Joey: You're Rachel.
Rachel: You're Joey.
Joey: You're my friend.
Rachel: Right back at you.
Joey: Plus, it would be wrong, and weird and bad.
Rachel: So bad. But I don't even know what you're talking about, because I didn't ask you to do anything.
Joey: I know. ... You wanna do it?
Rachel: No!
Joey: Me neither. I'm just testing you!
Rachel: Well, that's the end of this conversation.
Joey: This conversation never happened.
Rachel: Never happened. Good night.
Joey: Good night. [Rachel opens her bedroom door] Get back in there!

Joey: Congratulations. You just got married.
Ross: I know. Can you believe that?
Phoebe: Wait. I'm sorry. What's the big deal about a holiday card?
Ross: Married couples send out cards. Families send out cards. People who've been dating for a couple of months do not send out cards. What is she crazy?
Joey: Hey, hey, hey. That's your wife you're talking about!

Rachel: This explains so much. Last weekend, I went from store to store, sitting on Santas' laps.
Phoebe: Yeah, I remember trying to steal a cardboard cutout of Evander Holyfield from a Foot Locker.
Rachel: Well, I go see my doctor tomorrow. I'll ask her about this. Maybe she can give me a pill or something.
Phoebe: Yeah, that's what you need ... a good pill.

Phoebe: You know, she has a face, Ross.

Doug: The divorce, the marriage, we got a lot to celebrate. How about we all go out to dinner tomorrow night.
Monica: I can't think of anything we're doing. Why can't I think of anything?