‘The One with Rachel's Phone Number’
Season 9, Episode 9 - Aired December 5, 2002
When Phoebe joins Rachel on a girls' night out, Mike spends the evening with Ross. Meanwhile, Chandler lies to Joey and says he's staying in Tulsa so he can spend some alone time with Monica.
Quote from Mike
Ross: So, welcome.
Mike: I got beer.
Ross: I got bottled breast milk.
Mike: Why don't we start with the beer.
Quote from Chandler
Joey: Hey! How come your door's locked?
Monica: Just a second.
Chandler: No, no, no. Joey can't know that I'm here.
Monica: Why not?
Chandler: Because I didn't know how to tell him I couldn't go to the Knicks game so I just told him I had to stay in Tulsa.
Monica: So you lied to him?
Chandler: It's always better to lie than to have the complicated discussion. Except with you.
Quote from Monica
Chandler: You know, it's funny. I've been practicing the art of seduction myself.
Monica: You might wanna keep practicing.
Quote from Joey
Chandler: All right, look, just stay there. I'm coming home.
Joey: Okay, great. I'll see you when you get here. I'm going to wait out in the hall in case the dude comes out.
Chandler: Is that really necessary?
Joey: Absolutely. You'd do it for me. Not that you ever have to, because I know how to keep my women satisfied.
Quote from Ross
Ross: Shouldn't the pizza be here by now? I mean, they said 30 minutes or less. Well, how long has it been?
Mike: Eleven minutes. ... And now 12.
Quote from Phoebe
Phoebe: Oh, God, remember the girls' nights we used to have sitting around talking about you and Ross?
Rachel: Oh, God. It seems like forever ago.
Phoebe: I know. So, what's going on with you and Ross?
Quote from Phoebe
Rachel: But you know, actually, right before you picked me up Ross and I had a little thing.
Phoebe: Oh, my God. I love things. What happened?
Rachel: Well, first he told me he liked how I looked. And then we had a little eye contact.
Phoebe: Eye contact? I hope you were using protection.
Quote from Phoebe
Phoebe: Yeah, but nothing has to happen. We're just having fun. You know, not everything has to go as far as eye contact.
Quote from Chandler
Monica: Chandler, you have to tell Joey you're not in Tulsa.
Chandler: Don't you think it's better for him to think you're cheating on me than for him to think I'm cheating on him? I heard it.
Quote from Rachel
Rachel: Oh, my God. I ca not believe you live in that building. My grandmother lives in that building. Ida Greene? No sense of personal space, kind of smells like chicken, looks like a potato.
Bill: "Spuds" is your grandmother?
Rachel: That's my bubbe!