‘The One with Phoebe's Birthday Dinner’
Season 9, Episode 5 - Aired October 31, 2002
Phoebe and Joey are stuck waiting at a restaurant when their friends are late for her birthday dinner. Rachel frets about leaving Emma for the first time, while Chandler and Monica get into an argument about him smoking.
Quote from Chandler
Phoebe: Hey. Oh. Wow, somebody smoked out here? Oh, my God. Don't people know you're not allowed to smoke in public spaces?
Chandler: Actually, in Oklahoma, smoking is legal in all common areas and offices with fewer than fifteen people.
Phoebe: Oh, you smoked.
Chandler: No. I just happen to know a lot of trivia about smoking in different states. For example in Hawaii, cigarettes are called lei-lana-lukus.
Quote from Phoebe
Phoebe: Oh, Chandler, you stink of cigarettes.
Chandler: Do you think Monica is going to be able to smell it?
Phoebe: Are you kidding? That woman has the nose of a bloodhound. And the breasts of a Greek goddess.
Quote from Rachel
Ross: That was my mom. She's stuck in terrible traffic.
Rachel: Okay, well, that is now the third sign that I should not leave Emma.
Ross: What are the other two?
Rachel: Well, the first one is, I don't want to. And the second one, I'm not going.
Quote from Joey
Phoebe: Where is everyone? They're forty minutes late.
Joey: I know.
Phoebe: I'm starving. I knew we were coming here tonight, I ate nothing all day.
Joey: What about me? I only had one lunch today.
Quote from Monica
Monica: How can you smoke in this day and age? Have you not seen that ad? Huh? Where the little kid walks through grandpa. It's chilling.
Quote from Chandler
Chandler: You know, I've flown a long way to see my loving wife. Is she here by the way?
Quote from Chandler
Monica: Sex. This is the last day I'm ovulating. If we don't do it now, we're gonna have to wait until next month.
Chandler: You're serious?
Monica: Oh, yeah.
Chandler: All right, fine. I'll do it, but no talking.
Monica: And no cuddling.
Chandler: And no kissing your neck.
Monica: Oh, good. I hate it when you do that.
Chandler: And lots of kissing your neck.
Quote from Ross
Ross: Okay, well, the super's not home. But, hey, you know what, my mother's gonna be here in a minute and she has the key.
Rachel: I can't wait that long. You have to do something. Knock that door down.
Ross: I would, but I bruise like a peach.
Quote from Joey
Phoebe: No, no, no. I can't hold this table on my own. If they ask me to move, I'll cave.
Joey: Well, if you ask me to stay, I'll pee.
Quote from Rachel
Ross: And then Rachel wasn't sure she could leave the baby.
Rachel: It wasn't easy, but it's your birthday and I did what I had to do.
Phoebe: And that's Judy over there at the bar with Emma?