Ross: But everything's going to be fine. I mean, my mom is going to be with her. She's great with kids.
Rachel: She is?
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: What about Monica?
Ross: Hey, you only hear Monica's side of that. Okay, that little fatso was a terror!

Rachel: Honey, this is for the best. This way, I'm not distracted, worrying about Emma, how she's doing at home, and I'm gonna be completely here with you. Oh, she spit up. She spit up.
Ross: What?
Rachel: Judy? She spit- Judy, look alive, Judy!

Ross: No, no. Really, you should go. Go out. Really, the world is your oyster. Kick up your heels. Paint the town red.
Rachel: You need to learn some new slang.

Joey: Waiter? All right, this is gonna go fast, so try to keep up. Risotto with shaved truffles and the rib steak with the golden chanterelles and the Bordelaise sauce unless any of that stuff I just said means ''snails.''
Waiter: It does not.

Rachel: Oh, everything looks delicious. What should I have? What should I have?
Joey: Never hit a woman. Never hit a woman.
Ross: I know what you mean, this menu's incredible.
Joey: Ross bruises like a peach. He bruises like a peach.

Ross: So, is Mike coming to dinner?
Phoebe: No. It's my first birthday with a boyfriend, and he has to work. I'd get mad at him, but I think it's a little too soon to show my true colors.

Rachel: Oh, Pheebs, I would make the reservation for five because one of us has to stay home with Emma. Which one of us should go to dinner?
Phoebe: Rachel!
Ross: Actually, I was thinking maybe both of us could go.
Phoebe: Oh, yeah.
Ross: Thanks. I'll put a lot of extra thought into your gift.

Chandler: Hello, everyone. Now, before we get started, are there any questions? Yes. Ken, is it?
Ken: That's right. Is it true that the reason you're here in Tulsa is that you fell asleep in a meeting and took the job without realizing what you were saying yes to?
Chandler: [chuckles] Well, don't believe everything you hear, Ken. But yeah, that's true.

Chandler: All right, let's get started by taking a look at last quarter's figures. Uh, Claudia, aren't you supposed to blow smoke up the boss's ass?

Chandler: You're not allowed to smoke in this office though, right?
Claudia: Yes. In Oklahoma, it's legal to smoke in offices with 15 people or less. Would you like one?
Chandler: All right. I don't smoke any more. But if the rest of you want to light up, go ahead, it's fine. So you all smoke, then? You know, it's almost rude if I'm not smoking.
Ken: That's not true. If you don't wanna smoke--
Chandler: Ken, please!
Chandler: No, I can't smoke. If I smoke, my wife would kill me.
Ken: I'm sorry. But isn't your wife back in New York?
Chandler: I've always like you, Ken.