‘The One with Phoebe's Birthday Dinner’
Season 9, Episode 5 - Aired October 31, 2002
Phoebe and Joey are stuck waiting at a restaurant when their friends are late for her birthday dinner. Rachel frets about leaving Emma for the first time, while Chandler and Monica get into an argument about him smoking.
Quote from Monica
Monica: Wow. It's a little tight, isn't it. Why didn't you get a bigger table? You had a big table, but they made you move. [chuckles] Shut up, Monica.
Quote from Joey
Monica: Oh, well, I suppose that Chandler will have the smoked duck.
Chandler: And I suppose that Monica will have the manipulative shrew.
Waiter: I'll give you another minute.
Joey: What, where you going? He said she wanted the shrew.
Quote from Phoebe
Phoebe: I'm sorry, was that rude? Did my little outburst blunt the hideousness that is this evening? Look, I know you all have a lot going on, but all I wanted to do was have dinner with my friends on my birthday. And you are all so late, and you didn't even have the courtesy to call. [cell phone rings] Well, it's too late now.
Ross: Yeah, Pheebs, I don't think that's us.
Phoebe: Oh. Well, this is not- This is not over.
Quote from Phoebe
Phoebe: Okay, that was Mike.
Rachel: Oh, Phoebe, honey, we are so sorry. You are totally right. We are here 100 percent and we love you, and we are ready to start your birthday celebration.
Phoebe: Oh. You guys, that means the world to me. Okay, I'm gonna take off.
Rachel: What?
Phoebe: Oh, I love you guys too, but, Mike got off work early. Wait. Wait. I'm not the- I'm not the kind of girl that just ditches her friends to be with her boyfriend. You know what? I am. Bye, guys. Judy, bye!
Quote from Joey
Phoebe: You guys are over an hour late. What happened to you two?
Ross: I'm so sorry.
Rachel: We got locked out of the apartment.
Joey: That's a great story. Can I eat it?
Quote from Joey
Phoebe: Oh, hey, you guys? I couldn't get a reservation for the night of my birthday so we'll have to do dinner Thursday night instead.
Joey: Thursday? But that's Halloween.
Phoebe: So?
Joey: It's just spooky, that's all.
Quote from Chandler
Claudia: I'm sorry. Does the smoke bother you?
Chandler: No, no, no, no. I smoke for years. Then I quit. Right now, I can't remember why.
Quote from Phoebe
Phoebe: I'm so glad I changed. I almost wore my threadbare robe that can't contain my breasts.
Quote from Monica
Monica: I'm ovulating and Chandler's going to be home any minute, so I thought we would try before dinner.
Phoebe: Oh. Oh, wait, does that- You guys won't be late for my dinner, will you?
Monica: Believe me. Chandler and I have not seen each other in over a week. We'll probably be the first ones there.