Monica: How can you smoke in this day and age? Have you not seen that ad? Huh? Where the little kid walks through grandpa. It's chilling.

Monica: Sex. This is the last day I'm ovulating. If we don't do it now, we're gonna have to wait until next month.
Chandler: You're serious?
Monica: Oh, yeah.
Chandler: All right, fine. I'll do it, but no talking.
Monica: And no cuddling.
Chandler: And no kissing your neck.
Monica: Oh, good. I hate it when you do that.
Chandler: And lots of kissing your neck.

Ross: Okay, well, the super's not home. But, hey, you know what, my mother's gonna be here in a minute and she has the key.
Rachel: I can't wait that long. You have to do something. Knock that door down.
Ross: I would, but I bruise like a peach.

Phoebe: No, no, no. I can't hold this table on my own. If they ask me to move, I'll cave.
Joey: Well, if you ask me to stay, I'll pee.

Ross: And then Rachel wasn't sure she could leave the baby.
Rachel: It wasn't easy, but it's your birthday and I did what I had to do.
Phoebe: And that's Judy over there at the bar with Emma?

Rachel: Oh, everything looks delicious. What should I have? What should I have?
Joey: Never hit a woman. Never hit a woman.
Ross: I know what you mean, this menu's incredible.
Joey: Ross bruises like a peach. He bruises like a peach.

Monica: Wow. It's a little tight, isn't it. Why didn't you get a bigger table? You had a big table, but they made you move. [chuckles] Shut up, Monica.

Monica: Oh, well, I suppose that Chandler will have the smoked duck.
Chandler: And I suppose that Monica will have the manipulative shrew.
Waiter: I'll give you another minute.
Joey: What, where you going? He said she wanted the shrew.

Phoebe: I'm sorry, was that rude? Did my little outburst blunt the hideousness that is this evening? Look, I know you all have a lot going on, but all I wanted to do was have dinner with my friends on my birthday. And you are all so late, and you didn't even have the courtesy to call. [cell phone rings] Well, it's too late now.
Ross: Yeah, Pheebs, I don't think that's us.
Phoebe: Oh. Well, this is not- This is not over.

Phoebe: Okay, that was Mike.
Rachel: Oh, Phoebe, honey, we are so sorry. You are totally right. We are here 100 percent and we love you, and we are ready to start your birthday celebration.
Phoebe: Oh. You guys, that means the world to me. Okay, I'm gonna take off.
Rachel: What?
Phoebe: Oh, I love you guys too, but, Mike got off work early. Wait. Wait. I'm not the- I'm not the kind of girl that just ditches her friends to be with her boyfriend. You know what? I am. Bye, guys. Judy, bye!