Parker: My God, what a fantastically well-lit hallway.
Phoebe: Can I get you something to drink, like a water and Valium?

Monica: No, really. Any time Ross makes a toast, everyone cries and hugs him and pats him on the back. And they all come up to me and say, "God, your brother." You know what they're gonna say this year? "God, you."
Joey: Well, I can promise you at least one person will be crying. I'm an actor, and any actor worth his salt can cry on cue.
Monica: Really? You can do that?
Joey: Oh, you kidding me? Watch. Well, I can't do it with you guys watching me!

Phoebe: Hey. Everybody, this is Parker. Parker, this is-
Parker: No wait, don't tell me. Let me guess: Joey, Monica, Ross, Rachel and ... I'm sorry, Phoebe didn't mention you. Chandler, I'm kidding! Already you're my favorite.

Parker: Why don't you each of you tell me a little about yourselves.
Ross: Uh, actually, we probably should get going.
Parker: [laughs] Classic Ross!
Parker: Rachel, look how you glow! May I?
Rachel: I think you already are.
Parker: Rachel, you have life growing inside you. Is there anything in this world more miraculous than- Ooh, a picture of a dog. Whose is this?
Monica: That's my old dog. He passed away years ago.
Parker:Well, at least you were lucky to have him. Bow-wow, old friend. Bow-wow. So where's the party?
Monica: It's out on the island, in Massapequa.
Parker: Massapequa, it sounds like a magical place. Tell me about Massapequa, is it steeped in Native American history?
Ross: Well, there is an Arby's in the shape of a tepee.

Ross: Can you believe that?
Rachel: Yeah. I know. If you're going to do the ears, you may as well take a pass at the nose area.

Chandler: Somewhere there is a guy with a tranquilizer gun and a huge butterfly net looking for that man.

Male Guest: So we never got to hear about your wedding.
Female Guest: We were surprised we weren't invited.
Ross: Oh, no, no, no. It was just our parents and one or two friends. It was a small wedding.
Rachel: But it was beautiful. I mean, it was small, but kind of spectacular.
Male Guest: Where did you have it?
Rachel: On a cliff in Barbados, at sunset. And Stevie Wonder sang "Isn't She Lovely" as I walked down the aisle.
Female Guest: Really?
Rachel: Yeah. Stevie's an old family friend.
Female Guest: Oh, my God. That sounds amazing. I'd love to see pictures.
Rachel: Yeah, so would I. You wouldn't think that Annie Liebowitz would forget to put film in the camera.

Rachel: Thirty-five years. That is very impressive. Do you have any pearls of wisdom?
Judy Geller: Jack?
Jack Geller: Why would you serve food on such a sharp stick?
Ross: It's a good question, Dad. It's a good question.

Rachel: Hey, do you guys have any extra ribbon?
Chandler: Oh, sure. What do you need? We got lace, satin, sateen, raffia, gingham, felt- And I think my testicles may be in here too.

Phoebe: Let's play the game of who can stay quiet the longest.
Parker: Or Jenga.
Phoebe: Let's play this one first. And remember, whoever talks first loses.
Parker: I lose, now Jenga.
Phoebe: Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Parker: Is something wrong?
Phoebe: Wrong? Really, you know the word "wrong"? Everything isn't perfect? Everything isn't magical? Everything isn't aglow with the light of a million fairies? They were just brake lights, Parker.
Parker: Well, excuse me for putting a good spin on a traffic jam.
Phoebe: You don't have to put a good spin on everything.
Parker: I'm sorry. That's who I am. I'm a positive person.
Phoebe: No, I'm a positive person. You are like Santa Claus on Prozac ... at Disneyland, getting laid.