Monica: Okay, it's time for the toast. I know that normally Ross gives the toast, but this year I'm going to do it. [crowd groans] No, it's gonna be great. Really. Okay. Mom, Dad, when I got married one of the things that made me sure I could do it was the amazing example the two of you two set. For that, and so many other things, I want to say thank you. I know I probably don't say it enough but I love you. When I look around this room, I'm saddened by the thought of those who could not be with us. Nana, my beloved grandmother, who would so want to be here. But she can't because she's dead. As is our dog, Chi-Chi. I mean, look how cute she is- Was. Do me a favor, pass this to my parents. Remember, um, she's dead, okay? Her and Nana, gone. Wow! Hey, does anybody remember when Debra Winger had to say goodbye to her children in "Terms of Endearment"? Didn't see that? No movie fans?! You want to hear something sad? The other day, I was watching "60 Minutes" and there was this piece on orphans in Romania who have been so neglected that they were incapable of love. You people are made of stone! Here's to Mom and Dad. Whatever!

Monica: Okay, that's it. I give up. At Mom and Dad's 40th anniversary, you're the one giving the speech.
Ross: You know, I don't understand why they didn't cry. It was a beautiful speech.
Monica: Oh, come on.
Ross: Hey. All that stuff you said about true love? You were right. I mean, we did learn a lot from Mom and Dad. And that picture of Chi-Chi with her mischievous grin. And what you said about Nana? Oh, yeah, she really would've wanted to be there. And you know what? I think she was.
Monica: [sobbing] Oh, good God, Ross, how the hell do you do it?

Phoebe: Do I make fun of the people you've dated? Tag, Janice, Mona. No, because friends don't do that. But do you want my opinion? Do you want it? Because in my opinion, your collective dating record reads like a who's who of human crap!