‘The One in Massapequa’
Season 8, Episode 18 - Aired March 28, 2002
When the group spend the evening in Massapequa celebrating Monica and Ross's parents' thirty-fifth wedding anniversary, Phoebe takes an extremely upbeat guy, Parker, she met at the dry cleaners, Monica tries to give a toast that will have the audience in tears, and Ross and Rachel pretend to be married.
Quote from Ross
Ross: Chi-Chi! Oh, I loved this dog. You know, Monica couldn't get braces because Chi-Chi needed knee surgery.
Monica: What?
Ross: You were the 200-pound eleven-year-old who rode her.
Quote from Phoebe
Phoebe: Hey. Everybody, this is Parker. Parker, this is-
Parker: No wait, don't tell me. Let me guess: Joey, Monica, Ross, Rachel and ... I'm sorry, Phoebe didn't mention you. Chandler, I'm kidding! Already you're my favorite.
Quote from Ross
Parker: Why don't you each of you tell me a little about yourselves.
Ross: Uh, actually, we probably should get going.
Parker: [laughs] Classic Ross!
Parker: Rachel, look how you glow! May I?
Rachel: I think you already are.
Parker: Rachel, you have life growing inside you. Is there anything in this world more miraculous than- Ooh, a picture of a dog. Whose is this?
Monica: That's my old dog. He passed away years ago.
Parker:Well, at least you were lucky to have him. Bow-wow, old friend. Bow-wow. So where's the party?
Monica: It's out on the island, in Massapequa.
Parker: Massapequa, it sounds like a magical place. Tell me about Massapequa, is it steeped in Native American history?
Ross: Well, there is an Arby's in the shape of a tepee.
Quote from Phoebe
Ross: So he seems like a nice guy.
Rachel: Yeah. Yeah, I like him a lot.
Ross: You want to hang back and take our own cab?
Rachel: Yeah. Okay, otherwise I'm not going.
Quote from Jack Geller
Rachel: Thirty-five years. That is very impressive. Do you have any pearls of wisdom?
Judy Geller: Jack?
Jack Geller: Why would you serve food on such a sharp stick?
Ross: It's a good question, Dad. It's a good question.
Quote from Rachel
Ross: Can you believe that?
Rachel: Yeah. I know. If you're going to do the ears, you may as well take a pass at the nose area.
Quote from Chandler
Parker: What a beautiful place. What a great night. I have to tell you, being here with all of you in Event Room C, I feel so lucky. Think of all the good times that happened here. The birthdays, the proms, the mitzvahs, both bar and bat! But none of it will compare with tonight. God, I don't want to forget this moment. It's like I want to take a mental picture of you all. Click.
Chandler: I don't think the flash went off.
Quote from Chandler
Chandler: Somewhere there is a guy with a tranquilizer gun and a huge butterfly net looking for that man.
Quote from Monica
Ross: I'm so glad we weren't in the car. Did he ever let up?
Monica: He called the Long Island Expressway a "concrete miracle."
Quote from Ross
Ross: This room. This night. That waiter. His shoes. I must take a mental picture. Ooh, sorry.
Phoebe: Were you guys making fun of Parker?
Ross: That depends. How much did you hear?