Bulldog: Yo, Jill. You a football fan?
Jill: "Not really."
Bulldog: Then beat it!

Bulldog: Jack, how can I put this to you delicately? You're a moron! Shut up! You know squat! You know less than squat! You and squat could go to the movies and squat could wear an "I'm With Stupid" T-Shirt!

Bulldog: Let's get things started! Here you go, Doc. Happy birthday.
Frasier: [opening the brown bag] Oh, well, thank you Bulldog, thank you all. Oh, well, "David Copperfield," Dickens's classic tale of a young man making his way in the world.
Bulldog: I, uh, think we're talking about different movies, here, Doc.
Frasier: Mmm. "David Coppaafeel." Well.
Bulldog: But you were right about the classy tail part.

Bulldog: Hey, Doc. I need some advice. I feel a cold coming on and I'm wondering, should I take vitamin C or should I just leave Seattle?! [laughs]
Roz: [to Frasier] I hope you're happy. According to Betsy, the switchboard has logged over fifty irate calls.
Bulldog: Fifty?! Damn, you topped my record! The most I ever got was thirty-five, when I said that commentary, "Lady Umpires - Finally a Chest Worth Protecting!"

Bulldog: Hey, guys, you won't... [sees Colette] Whoa! Any more like you at home?
Colette: No.
Bulldog: Good, we'll have privacy. Short drip.
Colette: Ah. Colette.

Bulldog: Roz, wait till you hear this, I got a job today.
Roz: Oh, my God.
Frasier: Oh, congratulations.
Bulldog: Yeah. You've got to rub me for good luck.
Roz: Where?
Bulldog: Well, start at my knee and work your way up.

Bulldog: I'm going to see if I can catch up with her at the elevator. Maybe she's never dated a former professional hockey player before.
Frasier: You never played hockey.
Bulldog: It's like we're from different planets!

Bulldog: [to Frasier] Hey, I know you're down. Don't sweat it. Rookie mistake. By the way, the chick at the coffee table's got her high beams on. [barks]

Bulldog: Hey, great party. Best one ever, thanks to me. I hired a stripper. Doc, you will never guess what her name is Candy Kane.
Frasier: What are the odds?