Chris: Look, it'll only be for a little while. It'll be fun.
Mr. Levine: All right, fine, to get you off my back, we'll do it tomorrow.
Chris: You know, I don't know your name.
Mr. Levine: Levine, Stan Levine.
Chris: I'm Chris.
Mr. Levine: All right. Hey, hey, turn your pockets inside out.
Chris: I didn't even come in.
Mr. Levine: Inside out, Houdini, you could have my mail.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] While I emptied my pockets, my mother went to empty my father's pockets.
Julius: You going to work like that?
Rochelle: I'm not going to work. I'm going shopping.
Julius: Shopping?
Rochelle: Julius, all I got is old lady clothes. I got to get me some new, young stuff.
Julius: I got to get some new, young money.

Chris: Hey, everybody.
Monk: Hey, what's up, Chris? Man, who's this?
Chris: Oh, this is Mr. Levine. Mr. Levine, this is Kill Moves.
Kill Moves: How you doing, Mr. Levine?
Chris: And Monk.
Monk: How you doing?
Mr. Levine: This is great. You bring me out of the house to meet a roomful of shvartzers?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Okay, didn't expect him to say that.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] Mr. Levine learned to talk before language became politically correct, so now he had to deal with SWA- shvartzers with attitude.
Doc: Hey, man, watch your mouth. You can't be saying that word unless you want to get your ass kicked by a room full of shvartzers.
Chris: Hey, man. Come on, Doc.
Monk: Why you saying that, man?
Chris: Hey, what's that word mean anyway?
Monk: It's Yiddish for "Black." Oh!
Chris: Monk, what's wrong with you?

Mr. Levine: Hold on. Doc Harris?
Doc: Hm. Stanley Levine.
Chris: Y'all know each other?
Doc: Yeah. This clown stole my girlfriend.
Kill Moves: You used to be a clown?
Mr. Levine: I didn't steal her, you lost her.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] When you stole her.
Monk: Chris, what you doing hanging with this guy anyway?
Chris: I got trapped outside during the blackout and he let me hide in his house till it was over.
Doc: Did you see my woman in there?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] You should check his pockets.
Mr. Levine: I knew coming here was a bad idea.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Same words spoken by every White person in Bed-Stuy since 1964.

Peaches: Rochelle, I can't believe you're gonna hang out with a girl like that. Got you all out in clubs and stuff.
Rochelle: Yeah.
Peaches: Next thing you know, You be posing for Jet "Beauty of the Week."
Adult Chris: [v.o.] The special "Slight Tummy" edition.
Peaches: Everybody looking at you, knowing all your business. Your hobbies and your signs and stuff.
Rochelle: Peaches, okay, I understand that you are trying to look out for me, but I'm just trying to have some fun.
Peaches: You are a married woman. You ain't got no business having fun.
Rochelle: Peaches, I don't care what you say, all right? Age is just a state of mind. [Peaches gasps] Okay, well, it's not my fault you feel old.
Peaches: Just 'cause you acting crazy now, I'm old? Oh, you know what, go to the club then. Bye.
Rochelle: Bye.
Peaches: Spush.
Rochelle: I'm going. Spush to you.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] Back at school, Greg was doing more wardrobe changes than Beyonce in concert.
Chris: Janet Jackson? You're dressed like Janet Jackson?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Almost as weird as dressing like Michael.
Greg: I'm in control.
Chris: You're in a woman suit.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] And that wasn't the last time.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] While Greg was at an all-time high, Mr. Levine hit an all-time low.
Doc: Stan, your door's open.
Chris: Doc, call an ambulance.
Doc: What did you do?
Chris: I didn't do anything. I just got here and I found him like this.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] The last guy that said that ended up in a slow-speed Bronco chase on the way to Mexico.

Julius: What is this?
Rochelle: A TV dinner.
Julius: It looked better on TV. How come you didn't cook?
Rochelle: Because I needed to get my outfit together.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] She needs to get her head together.
Julius: What's that?
Rochelle: It's what the young people are wearing these days.
Julius: Is this what the young people are eating these days?
Rochelle: Julius, look, I promise, before I go out tomorrow I'll cook for you, okay? Now, baby, just go.

Peaches: Rochelle, I don't like what's happening to you. You're dressing like a teenager, wearing wigs. You just look ridiculous.
Rochelle: Nothing is happening to me, okay? I'm just going out to a few clubs with Kiki.
Peaches: You ever wonder why Kiki want to hang with someone your age?
Rochelle: Don't you start with that 29 thing again.
Peaches: Girl, you know what, you ever have a fat friend?
Rochelle: A fat friend?
Peaches: Yeah, girl, you hang out with her so everybody else pay attention to you.
Rochelle: So?
Peaches: So you're Kiki's fat friend. Aw, pick up and fetch, you know it's true.
Rochelle: Peaches, you take that back!
Peaches: Look, Rochelle, you may not want to accept it, but you look like the girl's mother. I know, you know it, and she know it.
Rochelle: I do not!
Peaches: All right, fine. Believe what you want, but don't say I didn't tell you so. That's what I'm talking, baby. [sings] Square biz Square biz