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Everybody Hates Mr. Levine

‘Everybody Hates Mr. Levine’

Season 4, Episode 11 -  Aired January 9, 2009

During a blackout Chris meets Stan Levine (Steve Landesberg), the last remaining White guy in the neighborhood. Meanwhile, Rochelle learns she is actually a year younger than she thought.

Quote from Chris

Adult Chris: [v.o.] While my mother went out with a young woman, Mr. Levine got a visit from one.
Chris: I'm sorry, I think you've got the wrong room.
Lisa Levine: That's Stan Levine, right?
Chris: Yeah.
Lisa Levine: Then this is the right room. Who are you?
Chris: I'm Chris.
Lisa Levine: Chris? Oh, you're the one that almost killed him.
Chris: I was just trying to take him out for a walk.
Lisa Levine: That almost killed him.

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Quote from Chris

Chris: Who are you anyway?
Lisa Levine: I'm Lisa Levine, his daughter.
Chris: His daughter? But you're Black.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Depends on who you ask.
Lisa Levine: You're Black. Are you his kid too?
Chris: No.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] How about Angelina Jolie's?

Quote from Adult Chris

Chris: I'm sorry. Look, I was just trying to get him out of the house.
Lisa Levine: It's not your fault. He shouldn't be living alone at his age, anyway. Listen, I don't really know this neighborhood. You think you can show me where his apartment is? I need to pack up his things so I can take him back to Vegas.
Chris: You're taking him to Las Vegas?
Lisa Levine: I have to. I can't be running back here every time he forgets to take a pill. I'm going to put him in a retirement home.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Hope it's segregated.

Quote from Adult Chris

Mr. Levine: Hey, kid. Is she gone?
Chris: Yeah. How you feeling?
Mr. Levine: Like you almost killed me.
Chris: Hey, how come you have a Black daughter?
Mr. Levine: You remember when Doc said I stole his girlfriend? Let's just say it was an inside job.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Okay, can't do the joke I was thinking.
Chris: She wants to take you to Vegas.
Mr. Levine: I heard. Now you see why I don't come out of the house. All I did was open my door, try to save your life, and you try to kill me. Now she's trying to stick me in a home. Next time you want to do me a favor, do me a favor: don't.

Quote from Rochelle

Bouncer: Why don't you wait here while things clear out a little bit?
Rochelle: Oh, no, no, you don't understand, I-I'm with her.
Bouncer: Kiki, you didn't tell me you were bringing your mother. How you doing, mama? Come on in.
Rochelle: I am not her mother.
Kiki: N-No, that's my friend Rochelle.
Bouncer: Oh, hey, I thought it was your mother. Why don't you chill out here for a minute and wait here while things, uh, thin out?
Rochelle: Kiki! Kiki! You just gonna leave me out here?
Kill Moves: I'll see you inside. It won't be too long.
Bouncer: Moves. How you doing, Moves?
Kill Moves: My man.
Bouncer: Good to see you, brother.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] It was ladies' night, not old ladies' night.

Quote from Chris

Adult Chris: [v.o.] While my mother was left hanging, Mr. Levine got sent packing.
Chris: So you're really sending him to the old folks' home?
Lisa Levine: I could sell his stuff, put him on the street, and buy a car.
Chris: What type of car?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] A used one. He doesn't have that much stuff.
Chris: He's lived here his entire life and you're just gonna move him? What about his friends?
Lisa Levine: He doesn't have any.
Chris: What about his memories?
Lisa Levine: He's old, he'll forget 'em.
Chris: You want somebody to move you?
Lisa Levine: If somebody tried to kill me, yeah.
Chris: So that's it?
Lisa Levine: I got to do what I got to do.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Maybe I should try to kill her.

Quote from Adult Chris

Adult Chris: [v.o.] While my mother was going back to her old self, Doc got a taste of his past.
Doc: How's your mama?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Not thinking about you.
Lisa Levine: She's fine.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Fine, not thinking about you.
Doc: You look just like her.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] And you look like she ain't thinking about you.

Quote from Chris

Chris: Well, where's your dad?
Lisa Levine: He's staying.
Chris: For real?
Lisa Levine: We talked about it, and you were right, Chris. He's lived here his whole life. I'm not going to move him just to make it easier for me.
Doc: He wouldn't go, would he?
Lisa Levine: No.
Doc: Hm.
Lisa Levine: I'm getting him a day nurse.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Because "night nurse" is a whole other job.
Chris: Don't worry, we'll keep an eye on him.
Lisa Levine: Thank you.

Quote from Adult Chris

Adult Chris: [v.o.] After his daughter left, for the first time, I saw Mr. Levine out on the streets, but with everything that happened, I figured it was best to leave him alone until I didn't have a choice.
Chris: Mr. Levine, it's me, Chris, let me in. Let me in.
Mr. Levine: Hey, hey, hey. Last time I let you in, I went to the hospital, almost got shipped to the farm, you did me a favor, I saw my daughter, me and Doc patched it up. You happy? Now, beat it.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] And with that, Mr. Levine taught me everything I needed to know about White people.

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