Greg: Whoa. It happens to you too.
Chris: What does?
Greg: They call you Chris-and-Greg even if I'm not here.
Chris: Yeah, that's who we are. We're Chris and Greg.
Greg: Oh, this is great. I thought I was the only one who didn't have a personality of his own, but you don't either.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Yay! We both suck!
Greg: Sorry, Gerard, looks like I won't be needing you anymore.
Chris: Gerard?

Adult Chris: [v.o.] In every city, people have disasters they need to survive. In Miami, they have hurricanes, in San Francisco, they have earthquakes, and in New York, we had blackouts. You never knew when one was going to happen and you didn't want to be on the street when it did.

Chris: Help, let me in, there's a blackout.
Woman: [o.s.] Go away, get out of here!
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Next to "We're the Jehovah's Witnesses, can we have a minute of your time," "Let me in, there's a blackout" is the only guarantee somebody will not open a door.
Chris: Help!
[After Chris finds an unlocked door, he enters an apartment.]
Mr. Levine: [gun cocks] Don't you move a muscle.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I survived the blackout outside, now I needed to survive the next worst thing: a White man inside.

Mr. Levine: All right, put your hands down.
Chris: I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to break into your house. The door was open, I was just trying to get off the street.
Mr. Levine: Don't you know better than to be outside in a blackout? You don't remember what happened here in 1977?
Chris: You've been around here that long?
Mr. Levine: Lived here all my life. Sixty years.
Chris: Wow, you're probably like the last White guy in the neighborhood.
Mr. Levine: Probably am.
Chris: Did a lot of White people used to live around here?
Mr. Levine: "A lot" of White people? It was all White people.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] It was a whiteout.

Chris: Well, better get home.
Mr. Levine: All right, well, first turn your pockets inside out.
Chris: You think I stole something?
Mr. Levine: No, I'm just a freaky old man likes to see the inside of pockets. Yeah, I think you stole something.
Chris: You've been watching me the whole time. With a gun.
Mr. Levine: Look, I don't know how Houdini did it and I don't know how you do it.
Chris: [sighs] You know, everybody around here isn't a criminal. If you talked to more people, you'd know that.
Mr. Levine: All I need to know is that you didn't take any of my stuff. Now, beat it, and don't tell nobody you were down here.

Tonya: We were coming from Nessa's and this crazy guy just snatched Mom's purse.
Julius: That's $56.43 worth of purse snatching.
Rochelle: Yes, honey, I'm fine. Anyway, now I got to go down to the DMV to get my license replaced.

Drew: Where were you, Chris?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] With the Grand Wizard of Bed-Stuy.
Chris: I was, um, hiding under a car. [takes plates] I got this. [exits]

Maria: Hey, Chris and Greg.
Chris: Hey, Maria.
Greg: Did you see that?
Chris: See what?
Greg: Watch this.
[Greg goes and stands by the lockers on the other side of the corridor]
Mrs. Williams: [looking at Greg] Hi, Chris and Greg.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] While being a sidekick was getting old, my mother was feeling young.
Rochelle: [sings] 'Cause I love you Square biz
Julius: What's going on with you?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Translation: "Have you been drinking?"
Rochelle: Well, before I got my new driver's license, I had to get a copy of my birth certificate. Come to find out I am one year younger than what I thought I was, so I'm happy.
Tonya: So how come you're just finding out how old you are?
Rochelle: Well, that's what I had to ask my mother.
Drew: Are you sure she's your mother? Because, technically, you were born a year after she had you.
Rochelle: ... Yeah, she's my mother. Oh, see, she had to get me into kindergarten early, so she lied about my age and forgot to tell me.
Julius: Congratulations. I'm so happy for you.
Rochelle: Thank you, baby. I'm so young. [sings] I'm talkin' square biz To you, baby Come on, come on, sing it with me, baby. Square biz!

Adult Chris: [v.o.] Since Mr. Levine did me a favor when the lights went out, I thought I'd do him a favor after they were back on.
Mr. Levine: What do you want?
Chris: Well, I know you don't get out much, so I thought maybe we could take a walk. I could introduce you to some of the people.
Mr. Levine: What are you, a Good Samaritan?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] In Brooklyn, being nice only aroused suspicion.
Chris: Come on, you can see how some of the things have changed.
Mr. Levine: I don't just go out whenever, I have my routine. I get my groceries in the morning, I gotta get my walk in before the hooligans come out, I'm back before the judge show comes on. My nap, lunch.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] President Bush had that same routine.