Doc Quote #47

Quote from Doc in Everybody Hates Mr. Levine

Mr. Levine: Hold on. Doc Harris?
Doc: Hm. Stanley Levine.
Chris: Y'all know each other?
Doc: Yeah. This clown stole my girlfriend.
Kill Moves: You used to be a clown?
Mr. Levine: I didn't steal her, you lost her.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] When you stole her.
Monk: Chris, what you doing hanging with this guy anyway?
Chris: I got trapped outside during the blackout and he let me hide in his house till it was over.
Doc: Did you see my woman in there?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] You should check his pockets.
Mr. Levine: I knew coming here was a bad idea.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Same words spoken by every White person in Bed-Stuy since 1964.


‘Everybody Hates Mr. Levine’ Quotes

Quote from Greg

Chris: She said hi. So what?
Greg: No, she said, "Hi, Chris and Greg." You were nowhere near me. I've got no identity. I'm sick of it. I'm not Greg, I'm Chris-and-Greg. I'm just a sidekick.
Chris: You're not a sidekick.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] That's what Batman told Robin.
Greg: Yeah, you're right. Sidekicks have their own identities. Tonto, Hutch, Watson, Robin, Kato, Tattoo, Chong, Poncho, 99, Tubbs. I don't want to be Chris-and- Greg for the rest of my life.
[fantasy - a newscast:]
News Anchor: Governor Chris-and-Greg was arrested today on prostitution and racketeering charges. Governor Chris-and-Greg was elected two years ago on a law and order platform, and now Governor Chris-and-Greg faces up to three years in prison.
Greg: Why is it Chris and Greg anyways? Why isn't it Greg and Chris?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Because it's not your show.

Quote from Julius

Tonya: Where were you, Daddy?
Julius: I was asleep.
Rochelle: You slept through the worst blackout in ten years?
Julius: What's the difference? I wouldn't have seen it if I was awake and I couldn't see it in my sleep. [chuckles]
Rochelle: Oh, well, since you got so much sleep, you go get dinner. Sit down, kids.

Quote from Adult Chris

Adult Chris: [v.o.] There's always one White person left in a Black neighborhood after all the other ones leave. Maybe he was going to tell the others when it was safe to come back.

Doc Quotes

Quote from Everybody Hates Malvo

Doc: Now, come on, let's finish up these sketches.
Chris: Yeah, so, how did you learn to do this anyway?
Doc: I started painting nude portraits to meet chicks. Then I got good at it.
Chris: A little darker under the eyes.
Doc: Okay. Now, is that him?
Chris: Yeah, that's him.
Doc: Chris, that's Al Jarreau. Come on now, you got to focus. Every time we do this, it comes out different. Now, first time, this one looked like... Yeah, ain't that look like Kareem Abdul-Jabbar? And that's George Jefferson. And ain't that Lionel Richie? Come on Chris. Let's just start over.

Quote from Everybody Hates Minimum Wage

Doc: Minimum wage. Shoot. There was a time when the maximum wage for Black folks was zero.
Chris: But now the government requires that you pay me $3.35 an hour.
Doc: Well, work for the government. Look, Chris, I like having you around and you do a good job. But I just can't spare the money.
Chris: It's only 35 cents more an hour.
Doc: 35 cent an hour... that's $28 a month. That's three cartons of milk a day, that's two boxes of Mike and Ike an hour. That's no.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] That's when I realized I'd found the one person cheaper than my father.

Quote from Everybody Hates Being Cool

Adult Chris: [v.o.] Before I went ahead with being a lookout, I got a second opinion from Doc.
Doc: And they want you to be the lookout?
Chris: Yeah, I mean, I don't want to do it, but these kids like me and I've come so far on my coolness. And I'm just the lookout. I can't get in any real trouble.
Doc: Wrong. You don't know nothing about crime, do you? You act as a lookout, while something felonious occurs, that makes you an accessory.
Chris: Yeah, but I'll still be cool, right?
Doc: Wrong again. There are a lot of subheadings to being an accessory. You can be an accessory before the fact. You can be an accessory after the fact. Or you can be an accessory during the fact. In any event, if you get caught, you going to jail.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Doc spent three to five as an accessory.