Woody: All right, Sam. I'm gonna drive you up there, and I don't want you to worry about a thing. I'm a very good driver.
Sam: Great. Great. Just go, please.
Woody: Ding, ding, ding.
Sam: What are you doing?
Woody: "The captain is requesting that all passengers please fasten their safety belts."

Woody: Sam, I hear some rattling. Is your door closed all the way?
Sam: No, it's not. Here, I'll get it.
Woody: No, no, hang on. l- l'm gonna pull over as soon as I make this turn. [Sam sighs] No, don't undo your seat belt!
Sam: Give me a break. Will you lighten up? Whoa! [thudding]
Woody: Now would that have happened if you'd been wearing your safety belt?

Man: I don't think I want to do this, Dr. Crane.
Frasier: Oh, all right! And what would you suggest that we do? Stare at one another? Lord knows you've all had enough practice at that!
Lilith: You're pressuring them, Doctor.
Frasier: Oh, you're right, darling. Uh... You know, perhaps we should try a different approach. You know, there is a technique pioneered in the early 60's, which is thought to be without peer in producing the social effect that we seek. I'm referring, of course, to Twister!
Lilith: Left foot blue.

Sam: You got to get out of here. If she sees you, she's gonna think something's wrong. It'll ruin the mood. Just quick, get out the window. Go on!
Woody: Oh, sure. "Quick, out the window." Not exactly the undying thanks and gratitude I might expect after driving 200 miles through the snow.
Sam: Would you just shut up and move your butt?
Woody: Oh, that's much better, Sam. That'll keep me warm on the drive home.
[After Woody climbs out a small window, he returns through a door right next to the window]
Woody: Sam, there's a door here. Why'd I go out the window?
Sam: Would you get out of here?!
[Woody comes inside and once again climbs out the window]

Lauren: You don't want to dance, do you, Sam?
Sam: No, you know, the truth is, I really don't.
Lauren: Sam, what's going on?
Sam: What do you mean?
Lauren: Never mind. I think I know. [music stops] I mean, it's obvious. I'm not exactly as young as I used to be and, um...
Sam: Oh, sweetheart, wait a minute. Wait, is that what you think?
Lauren: Well, it's okay. You can level with me. I've gotten too old for you.
Sam: Oh, no. Listen, age has nothing to do with it. You- Yyou are still as young and sexy as that first day and night and next morning that we met.
Lauren: Really, Sam? Then why are you acting so standoffish?
Sam: Yeah oh, honey, I've got to level with you here. Sweetie, I fell down the steps today. I threw my back out. I can barely move.
Lauren: Oh. Well, I'm not surprised, a man your age.

Sam: Honey, y-you can't go now. I mean, we barely spent the night together. W- Why can't you stay?
Lauren: Oh, Sam, I would love to, but you know how this works. Just one night a year.
Sam: Yeah, but that's a stupid rule, you know that? I never have understood that. W- Why can't you stay?
Lauren: I have to get to Portland by Presidents' Day. There's a linebacker I always meet there.
Sam: You, you do this with other guys?
Lauren: Well, you have other women, don't you?
Sam: Well, yeah, but not once a year. I mean, I thought I was special to you.
Lauren: Oh, Sam, you are. You'll always be my Valentine. Next year.
Sam: Yeah, all right. Bye-bye.
Lauren: Listen, I could start seeing you on Arbor Day, too.
Sam: Really? Oh, great! Don't you see another guy on Arbor Day, though?
Lauren: I did, but he died.
Sam: How?
Lauren: Happy.

Sam: Hey, Woody, can you do me one tiny little favor?
Woody: Sure, Sam. What is it?
Sam: Can you get me up to my car, then drive me to Vermont, then get me into the cabin?
Woody: What's in it for me?
Sam: Well, you could use that new gas card of yours to fill the tank.
Woody: All right! I'll feel so grown up!

Carla: Oh! Uh, uh. Excuse me. Excuse me, Rebecca. Uh, 2:15. Hey, Sammy, here you go.
Sam: [o.s.] Thanks, Carla.
Carla: Phew! That was close.
Rebecca: What the hell was that?
Carla: Sammy's vitamin E. It's Valentine's Day. Duh!

Sam: Hey, Carla, how long have you had this bottle of vitamin E around, huh?
Carla: I don't know. A while. Why? [Sammy empties out a glob of capsules stuck together]
Rebecca: What is with this date you go on every year? I mean, you know, to me, it just it just seems silly. [men gasping]
Norm: Uh-oh!
Sam: Come on, guys. Guys, she just doesn't understand. You see, sweetheart, first time Lauren and I met, we went up to this cabin, and we had a night that was totally romantic and erotic. I guess you'd call that silly.
Woody: If you liked her so much, how come you only see her once a year?
Sam: I don't know. I don't know. It was her idea. You know, she never told me why. I keep meaning to ask her, but then I forget. This year's going to be different, though. I'm gonna pin her down. No, I better not do that. Actually, I'll forget again, won't l?

Frasier: Woody, a couple of pitchers, please.
Woody: Sure, Dr. Crane.
Norm: Uh, if you're buying beer for your friends back there, Fras, you know, I'm, uh... I'm available.
Frasier: [laughs] Well... Actually, they're not friends. It's a therapy group I have for men who have trouble relating to women.
Norm: [laughs] Well, set 'em up, Wood.