Lilith: Come along, ladies. Why don't you go on ahead into the poolroom and make yourselves as comfortable as five women totally hostile to their own bodies can be. After you.
Cliff: So, uh, what's going on back there?
Lilith: Well, Frasier and I are both treating same-sex groups with relationship disorders. And recent studies suggest that there are benefits to be gained by bringing these two groups together for interrelations under controlled social circumstance.
Cliff: Say what?
Frasier: Well, come on. Surely you've all seen, uh, Love Connection.
Frasier: Oh! Guys! Guys! What are you doing out here?
Man: Dr. Crane, there's there's...
Frasier: Yes, I know. There's girls in there. But you see, you're missing the point. This is exactly the type of situation we've been training for. This time it's the real thing, not just me in a wig.

Sam: Hey, give me a hand here, will you, Woody? Oh, geez. Time's a-wastin', my friend.
Rebecca: Oh, Sam, you're not seriously thinking of still going on this date, are you?
Sam: You bet I am.
Norm: All right! [men cheering]
Frasier: Sam, I seriously urge you to stay off your feet and in bed.
Sam: Well, that's part of the plan, there, Fras.

Frasier: Now boys, girls, I have an orange under my chin. I am going to attempt to pass it to this lovely woman, whom I do not fear. Now you see, isn't that fun?
Lilith: Whoa!

Lilith: Perhaps it's time we admit our failure. It was a well-intentioned experiment, but we realize now that you're not ready for this type of social interaction. I guess we can only conclude by saying, "Oh, well."
Frasier: No! I'm not giving up! How difficult can it be to kiss a woman? Be a little assertive for once in your life! [kisses Lilith] Now you see how easy that was? Again. [kisses] Again! [kisses] Class dismissed. Let's go, hon.

Sam: Hey, I've got a great idea here. Let's, uh, tell you what. You want to learn that new dance that's sweeping Boston?
Lauren: I'm game. What do we do?
Sam: The guy kind of stands like this, very still. And sometimes he leans up against something. And pretty soon his legs start to tremble.
Lauren: Sort of the way yours are now.
Sam: Yeah, yeah. There, you like it? [snapping fingers]
Lauren: Well, what does the girl do?
Sam: Usually she runs for some ice.

Carla: Hey, look! That cute guy, with the hairy knuckles, he just left me a five buck tip inside this Valentine. How 'bout that? [blows hair off the note]
Rebecca: So what? I thought that [licking ice cream] we didn't care about that stupid made-up Valentine corporate garbage.
Carla: That's just what losers say when they don't get any. But I got one, and at 11:40. Right under the wire. Whoa, I almost pulled a Rebecca that time.
Rebecca: That's not very nice, Carla.
Carla: You're right. I'm sorry. I almost forgot. Guess who called you to wish you a Happy Valentine's Day?
Rebecca: Who?
Carla: Nobody!

Cliff: Well, don't you worry there, Rebecca. Nobody's a loser on this day. I'm not going to, uh, let you leave the bar empty-handed.
Rebecca: What's this?
Cliff: It's a Valentine's card I got for Ma, but l, I think it suits you better.
Rebecca: Gee, Cliff, thanks. Hey, Carla! I did get one!
Cliff: So, uh... What am I gonna get for it?
Rebecca: What do you mean?
Cliff: Eh, come on, baby, swing a little.
Rebecca: What?
Cliff: Well, according to Fras, uh, babes like guys who are assertive. Aw, come on, Robin's not here, Sam's out of the picture. You've had the rest, now try the best.
[As Rebecca starts to walk away, she turns back and kisses Cliff on the lips]
Rebecca: Happy Valentine's Day, Cliff.
Cliff: Thank you.
Norm: Cliffie, uh, where- Where is ev- Cliffie? [snaps fingers] Cliffie! [takes Cliff's beer]
Cliff: Thank you.