Sam: I guess I'm out of here, man.
Norm: Go ahead.
Carla: Who's that pretty girl over there by the phone? You looked. You know why you looked.
Sam: Yeah, because you told me to look.
Carla: No, I'm telling you not to go. You're not listening to that. You looked because you're Sammy. I don't wanna lose that guy. I like him a lot.
Sam: You're not gonna lose him, Carla. I promise. Listen, I gotta do this. It's not for me. It's not for Diane. It's for Frasier. I mean, nobody deserves to be married to that woman. I'm not saying I'm gonna marry her. I just... I can't let her make this kind of mistake.
Cliff: Sammy, liftoff's at 0-4-0 and counting.
Sam: I'll call you from Florence.

Cliff: Talk about romantic, huh? If I was a woman, I'd be crying.
Carla: What would you do if you were a man?

Norm: I suppose it's always possible that Diane's going to go ahead and marry Frasier anyway.
Carla: Not a chance, come on. No woman's going to turn down a man like Sammy who flew across the ocean for her.
Cliff: Yeah, well, a toast then? To Sammy, somewhere high over the Atlantic.
Carla: Or, if he's lucky, in it.

Diane: The operator's putting through the call.
Frasier: Say, you know, Diane, even if you do get your mother, she wouldn't be able to be in Florence in time for the wedding this afternoon. She'd have to be in the air already.
Diane: Well, I know. I just want to tell her we're getting married. Oh, Frasier, look at that peasant woman standing over by the olive tree. Wouldn't that make a beautiful picture?
Frasier: The essence of Italy. Give your mother my love.
Diane: [to herself] Please, Sam, for once in your life, have done the right thing. Don't be at Cheers. Be on a plane.
[Meanwhile at Cheers:]
Cliff: No, as far as I know, Paul Revere never went to Florida. But... [phone rings]
Norm: Let me get it.
Carla: No, it's Sam's private line. The machine is going to pick it up.
Sam: [on the phone] Hi, this is Sam Malone.
[Back in Italy, Diane hangs up the pay phone at the sound of his voice]

Diane: Frasier, um, I've been thinking. We're so far from Florence and now we're having car trouble. It's just that fate is trying to tell us something. Why not just get married here in this little town, right now? Wouldn't that be romantic?
Frasier: Diane, I love that idea. Let's do it.
Diane: I love you.
[meanwhile, Sam shudders in his seat on the airplane:]
Stewardess: Are you cold, sir?
Sam: No. No, I'm not. I just had a chill, I guess.
Stewardess: Well, if there's anything I can do...
Sam: Oh, I'm fine. I'm fine. But don't go too far away. I think I may need some assistance.

Cliff: Well, thanks a lot for the hot tip there, Peterson.
Norm: What are you talking about, Cliff?
Cliff: Well, you gave me the number of Vera's cousin Natalie. You said she would go out with me.
Norm: I didn't say she'd go out with you. I said she'd go out with anyone.
Cliff: Well, you're wrong. I just gave her a call and she shot me down.
Norm: This doesn't make any sense. Vera said this woman was desperate. What did you say to her?
Cliff: I just said hello, did my little icebreaker joke, and asked her out.
Norm: All right, Cliffie, what was your icebreaker joke?
Cliff: A cute little pervert imitation I do.
Norm: What?
Cliff: Not pervert. You know, it's more like an obscene phone call. Heavy breathing and all. Oh, Ma roars at it.
[deep voice] Hello, Natalie. What are you wearing? You wanna know what I'm... [everyone walks away] Oh, yeah, sure. Tomorrow you're all gonna be using it.

Diane: If the food's so good, why is it empty?
Frasier: I don't know.
Waiter: Welcome to Luigi's. Our world-renowned chef, Luigi, would like to welcome you personally, but he's dead. [stifles a cry] We buried him this morning. Is this table satisfactory?
Frasier: You buried him this morning and you're open for business?
Waiter: Yes. It was one of Luigi's last wishes. [stifles a cry]
Diane: Would it be easier on you if we left?
Waiter: No, no, no! The new man is a very fine cook. He studied under... [stifles a cry] the world's greatest chef. Stay. Stay, prego.
Frasier: Well, we're very hungry. Can you recommend an appetizer?
Waiter: Yes, the Calamari alla Luigi [stifles a cry] is very good.
Frasier: Well, we'll have an order of that and a bottle of your best chianti. Boy, can I show a girl a good time.

Diane: Frasier, don't feel bad. It's not your fault.
Frasier: Oh, I don't know, Diane. It just seems the harder I try to please you, the more I mess up. I just wanted tonight to be perfect so that I could ask you to marry me.
Diane: [chuckles] Oh, how you talk!
Frasier: No, Dr. Marino helped me make arrangements for us to be married tomorrow at his parent's estate in Florence.
Diane: You're serious?
Frasier: Well, Diane, this trip has put us to the test. I've seen you at your best and your worst. I didn't think your worst was all that bad. Especially when it was only in small doses. [chuckles] The more I know you, the more I want you. Will you marry me tomorrow and make me the happiest man in the world?
Diane: Oh... Oh, Frasier, I'm so nervous. I didn't have the slightest indication this was coming. Well, of course, my... [knocks drink] Look what I've done. [knocks another drink] May I have your napkin? I'll be right back.

Sam: Does anyone know how to record on this little devil?
Norm: Yeah, you press that little red button. There you go. Just talk right into the machine there. Just keep it simple. Tell them to leave their names and their phone numbers. I'll make jungle noises in the background.
Sam: Quiet for a second here, everybody. [records] Hi, this is Sam Malone. Suckered you in. I'm not here. How do you like talking to a machine? [Sam chuckles] [Norm imitates a bird] At the beep, please leave your name, number, and something that'll get me hot.
Carla: Hope that was for your private line.
Sam: Are you kidding? I wouldn't waste a bon mot like that on business stuff.

Sam: [phone rings] Would someone get that for me?
Carla: Well, gee, I'll try. [picks up two lemons] Hello? Wanna help me, guys?
Norm: [talks into his beer glass] Yeah. Hello?
Cliff: [picks up a jar of straws] Hello. Come in?